S.O.S. !!! HELP !!! .....
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S.O.S. !!! HELP !!! .....
| Thu, 10-26-2006 - 9:08am |
Feck. I am freaking out. In a nutshell, WHAT do i WANT? I vascillate b/w
"this is too early to make a commitment" to as my work friends say "Uh, HELLO! When something drops into your lap, dont throw it away!".
"this is too early to make a commitment" to as my work friends say "Uh, HELLO! When something drops into your lap, dont throw it away!".


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It sounds like you have sorted out a lot of stuff in your head since yesterday. I think that if you do want a family and more children, that has to come to the front of the line given your age. What your therapist says has merit.
Sorry to hear that you ended up with such a loser exh. It sounds like you come from a really nice family and just tried to do the best you could. But it is not a one way street and he didn't hold up his half of the bargain to say the least.
It does sound like you have the whole custody thing under the best control that you can. It is good that you have it legally sorted out and that is a huge help.
I think you will do great this weekend because you are putting yourself first and that is what counts. It sounds from his email that he is really sweet and looking out for you and looking ahead.
Keep us posted, and good luck!! I think this thread has been great for all who participated. We all got to think about what we want and what we would say about our exes. And we got to see that it is good to put yourself first - which is what you are doing.
I was just thinking - would you refresh us on how you two met and your dates so far?
We have all been having so much fun reading your stories that we forgot about the roots of this one!! LOL!!
Hi Rebecca,
Carlos is a sweetie. I agree with your opinion of having sex with ONLY Carlos. Even if you might have another platonic date here and there. For me, I tend to get attached when I start having sex with someone. And if that's the case, then I worry if the person is only sticking around for the sex. BUT if I don't cross that line, and get to know someone (which you and Carlos are doing, too, that's great) then i don't have any regrets. LOL. I've even been upfront with some REALLY hot guys who tried to make a move too soon. I honestly said, whoa, I'll get attached if we go too fast. LOL. The funny thing is that saying that will cool them off real quick. Hehehehe. But for me, if I'm not ready, I'm not ready. I feel great that I don't feel pressure to have sex to keep someone around. I don't know why I got on that topic.
But I wouldn't introduce him to Ave just yet. In theory, I'd wait 6 months after dating exclusively. But that's only in theory. I agree with the other poster of starting a conversation and opening that line of communication with her now.
And I don't wanna be in you shoes dealing with a pscycho ex. Fortunately for me, my pscycho ex has a NO CONTACT order. But I can guarantee the ex WILL play mind games with your daughter. Will make her afraid of anyone you date. Will make that person out to be the enemy. Will try anyway to put fear in her because he knows he can't do that to you anymore. The only thing you can do is 1) keep dating discrete. 2) open the communication. 3) listen to her feelings. You are an awesome mother, already. Great Job, Girl. Continue to be honest and go with what's right for you.
Love,
Loonybunny
lol - yep, thast him.
I read the email that you posted. For me, it's like Deja vu from my one experience of dating an older bachelor. They really are "okay" for dating, as long as you realize that they will not commit to you. It's just temporary kicks.
If I were you, I'd keep my options open and look for someone who lives closer to you.
"I am attractive, have 3 college degrees, come from a GREAT close family, have a wonderful career (RN), am outgoing, pleasant, totally positive .... HE? GED (barely), never really worked, loafer, cheap (rep for it, NOW people tell me), Mean, Nasty, alcoholic, from THE most screwed up embarassing family ...."
Your X does sound like an ass and you do not deserve the way he treats you, but what does that have to do with him having only a GED and a screwed up family, and you being attractive with a wonderful career? You are lucky to have a good family, and being attractive and having degrees does not make you a better person, nor does him having little education make him not as good a person. I know that is not what you literally said, but that statement really does leave that impression. It's a person's personality (him being cheap, mean, nasty, alcoholic; you being outgoing, pleasant, positive) that matter, not education, looks, or family history.
I do hope your current relationship flourishes and you are happy.
AHa - there you are! So what happened? We want an update!!
I hope your talk went well. We are all rooting for you!! And want to see YOU happy, no matter the outcome!!
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