S.O.S. !!! HELP !!! .....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
S.O.S. !!! HELP !!! .....
25
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 9:08am
Feck. I am freaking out. In a nutshell, WHAT do i WANT? I vascillate b/w
"this is too early to make a commitment" to as my work friends say "Uh, HELLO! When something drops into your lap, dont throw it away!".

Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 2:39pm

Hey! Sorry to leave you hanging on a string, lol. Had to run out for a Halloween party with dd.


So ... the "talk" was done, at the end of our time together. I got there Friday afternoon & left about 8pm Sat nite.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 3:40pm

Wow - what a weekend you had!! Thanks for sharing your story.

I think you did absolutely the best that anyone can do given your circumstances. You do have a lot going for you and in my mind you have done nothing wrong - just got dealt a bad hand of cards from your exh. Believe me, there are a lot of women in our boat.

On the good side, it does seem that Carlos is taking this seriously or he wouldn't think of these things and have this talk. Hopefully, given a little time, he will think you are the one and digest what you told him. He is right that given his age and goal of a family and spouse with no baggage he is going to have to date a 20 something. And not that there is anything wrong with a 20 something, but the age gap can be a challenge for someone his age - at least in his mind. And not all 20 somethings have no baggage either!! LOL!!

It is good that you were up front about your situation.

Now just wait and see what he does. The ball is in his court. Don't sweat it no matter the answer or outcome - just give it time. You want someone who is into you and doesn't balk or freak at your situation - especially since YOU so have it together - pretty, an RN, ambitious, well educated, good family. The best scenario is that this one comes forward. But the other best scenario is that you get to take your time, hopefully your x settles down a LITTLE and then one even better comes along!! So either way you will win!!

That is cool that the younger guy called - makes you feel like you have a backup plan!!

Keep us posted, okay? We are enjoying your story. I am sure that everyone will have a good comment or perspective - good to have so many sets of eyes and opinions here - even if some are anti-bachelor - that is the one thing that would have me worried - because you don't get to be 45 and never married with no reason.

PLEASE PLEASE don't take anything personally - because I do feel he would have a hard time doing better than YOU - he just has to see it that way - and if he is too skittish then that is more about him not willing to commit to a situation and always wanting the perfect easy way out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 4:31pm

Thanks.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2006
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 6:19pm
You ARE a prize!!! Beautiful, intelligent, and interesting. And you do deserve so much better than what you had with your X. I am glad things are looking up for you and your little one. :o)


Edited 10/29/2006 7:21 pm ET by hunnie77
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 6:29pm

YEAH YEAH YEAH!! I am shaking my hand into the sky and saying YOU GO GIRL!! I am so glad you brought up that he is 45 and never been married and that is a risk for you. LOL!! Good work!! I also think you have it in your favor that you are dating around - it is not like you are some desparate thing that is begging him - I mean - that talk was HIS idea.

And yes yes yes - LIFE IS MESSY. You want someone to say to you: "Look at all the good you have done - you went through school, became an RN and are a super mom to boot - and you got yourself on your own two feet after a bad relationship - I am more than willing to grab the bull by the horns and make this happen." You want a guy who thinks he can do that!! And who sees the good you have to offer and realizes it is great for him.

I mean, Carlos has the opportunity of an experienced mom who has a brain!! And a built in big sister for the kid. We don't have challenges in life, we have opportunities!!

Okay - so I see it that way - let's hope you find someone else who does, too. Keep us posted.

Just my .02: I would not sweat the dating details with DD just yet - not until you find someone who you feel is really going to work out over the long term. Best to keep the private life private.

Pages