Spent the Night in the ER with DD....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Spent the Night in the ER with DD....
10
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 3:37am

AAAGGGHHH!!!! What a freakin day this has been!

I picked up dd at the police station tonight. She was filthy, again, and not very happy -somewhat crabby. She perked up a little when the two of us went out to dinner and went christmas shopping. However, when we got home and got ready for bath time she completely freaked out. When I put her in the water she started screaming that her private hurt and she was grabbing in and throwing a terrible fit (for the lack of a better word). Well...I laid her on the bed and took a look at her and completely freaked out! She was raw, very smelly, and bleeding. I tried to stay calm so she wouldn't get even more upset and went to my mom's. My mom looked at her and told me that I should probably go have her looked at my a doctor (my mom's a nurse).

Went to the ER. Sat in there for almost 4 hours, but it was well worth it! They examined her, had to cath her to check her urine, which hurt me sooooo bad, and then made me sit in there for what seemed like forever. Here I am thinking that my baby has been hurt in some way b/c she's bleeding and hurting....

Anyway, the nurses were so very nice and understanding and the doctor was pretty good too. He told me that basically there's a hygine problem (which I already knew due to the last doctor's visit she had). Every time she has to go on an overnight visitation she comes back horribly dirty and smelly. Due to that, she's developed yeast, which in turn, and partly to do with her sensitive skin (has exzema) she's delevoped sores that are bleeding.

I'm furious!!! She didn't leave my house with anything so why is she coming back with something. I guess exh must just let her sit around in a filthy diaper all day, which is so iritating and frustrating that I could scream!

On the positive side though, at least it's not anything "shady" if you know what I mean. The doctor gave me some very strong cream to use and some refills on it as well.

So, what am I supposed to do. The next time she has to go will be for 3 nights and I know she'll come back worse than before. No matter what I say to ex or HOW I say it, he completely ignores me. In the process, he just ends up hurting her...and I can't stand that. I even tried the suggestions that you all gave me and wrote down the doctors orders in a note, didn't use any phrases like "you have to" or "you should."

How can I keep this from continuing to happen? It just seems to me that he would know better than to let her sit in her own filth and then not now how to clean her. AAAGGHHHH!!!

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 11:08am

That is neglect. You need to get the ER doctors report (stating its from lack of hygiene) and send it to your attorney. Request no more overnights due to this until either a. she is out of diapers or b. he takes a parenting class. Do this RIGHT AWAY. That's pretty serious if she is bleeding. How painful for the poor baby.


call the ER and request the records (do this today). Leave a message for your attorney NOW.


Please give your little girl a hug for me....I'm sorry you are still having difficulties......


hugs


Deb


(dang it-I'm sorry about the hat again-I logged off and on though..?)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 12-10-2005 - 9:57pm

Kait,


I agree with Deb, this is NEGLECT!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 10:31am

I'm so sorry for your little dd!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 2:16pm

I'm going to go to my family doctor on Monday and have him document this issue has as well. Then there will be 3 doctors that have documented this problem. Then I'm going to have all of them send there reports to my lawyer, contact my lawyer myself, and go from there. There's no excuse for this and I'm not going to allow my dd to be treated this way. Thanks for all the advise and support.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 7:41pm
Very good - you are right on - and so are the other ladies here - I agree with all of them. There is no way your dd should have to be subjected to this and you must document and hold your exh responsible for consequences.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 9:54am
ITA with the other ladies. This is NEGLECT! I'm glad to hear you are gathering documentation and contacting your attorney. Keep us posted.
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 1:32pm

I'm wondering how the doctor appointment went and what your attorney said? Don't mean to be nosey, but I've been thinking about your and your poor DD and wondering how things are turning out....


Deb

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 2:00pm

Thank you so much for keeping us in your thoughts.

My doctor said the very same thing that the other 2 did. There is absolutely a hygenie problem and this is a form of neglect, just like everyone told me.

I talked to my lawyer and the doctor's records are currently in the process of being faxed to him. However, as for now, I am forced to send dd this weekend for her 3 night visitation. He advised me to write down explicit directions on a piece of paper on dd's bathing schedule and routine, her med application, etc. and give it to exh. He said if it's worse then we will proceed with everything on Monday. Basically, I have to give it another go round with exh, and at dd's expense, which is horrible to me!

In our divorce papers, which we haven't received yet, my exh is supposed to be taking a parenting class, in addition to an anger management class. I blame the slow stinking judge for all of this for the most part. If he would only get on the ball with things. I mean, for crying out loud, it's been 9 months already!

Just pray for us, especially dd. Hopefully my exh will get some sense in his brain, and hopefully he will read, understand, and go by the note I'm going to send with dd tomorrow.

As for this moment, my hands are basically tied.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 2:09pm
I'm glad you have the doctors and your attorney behind you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 9:38pm

I think your doctor has good advice. The note with the clear instructions is a good idea. You might also want to make dd a bit proactive so she can help remind him. While it is unfair to her to make her go through that whole scenario again, you will have a much stronger case if she comes back a mess on Monday.

I would try to be careful not to put him on the defensive. While he did screw up and neglect her big time, you are not going to help matters if you make him feel incompetent.

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