State of the Union
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| Tue, 10-21-2008 - 10:29am |
I am a chicken!
I am sending this to SS today unless someone here stops me! It's the stupid email I've held in my outbox for 2 months and keep tweeking...
Warning!!!! I am organizing the blondness... I can’t sleep – sleep hates me! I know this is coming out of left field but...
Remember when we had that uber serious talk a while back and you told me I couldn’t bring anything serious up again for 3 months…time’s up! We rarely talk about this stuff which you know is way fine with me…I just need a checkpoint every so often. Sometimes I do have insecurities just like every other crazy girl…I just like to stuff them way down deep until I lose it in the produce department of Kroger over not knowing what kind of apples you like. So in an effort to avoid such a scene and any possible incarceration…......I am emailing :-)
First off…I don’t want anything to change because I am not unhappy in the slightest. There is nothing you have said or done that sparked this email...I'm just in my head about it and will sleep better getting it out. So it's really all about me as usual :-) My insecurities are not like the ones Em has with Jimmy (ex’s, jealousy, control) – I don’t have any of those with you. You have been nothing but respectful to me which I truly appreciate more than I can express here. Most importantly I want you to know that I have a lot of respect for you…I’m seriously serious about that…seriously! The frosting…or the tiara :-)… is that you make me laugh – I am the best version of myself with you. You don’t get mad and yell when I f**k things up. You look really yummy in the mornings (you look yummy all the time! but especially in the am). You keep me drunk and happy when I’m over there. You do a lot of little things that you might think are insignificant but that make me feel wanted. AND…you sit on the couch and watch college football with me…what more could a dirty girl want? I know what I have here in you, I appreciate it and I get more and more emotionally invested the more time I spend with you so in turn I’m becoming way attached. Sometimes is scares me and its just hard for me to let those feelings known because you might – and I know in my head that this is unreasonable– but if I tell you how I feel you might say – "that’s stupid – I don’t want to be with you". That is my insecurity - now you know :-) I try to keep it in check but I think I overcompensate sometimes too so I’m not sure you have any idea how I feel about you.
So...the point of this long email that you had to read all the way down here to find - is my conscious need to know that I’m safe in this relationship. What that means to me is that I need to make sure that you’re not just passing time with me -- that you’re seeing a possible future with me…that I’m not looking for something that’s not there because I am getting in deep.
Yep – I guess you know fo shiz…I’m F’d three ways to the weekend but at least it only comes out every once in a while - no straight jacket required (unless your into that kinda thing but that's an entirely different email)...Anyway, feedback from you would be mucho appreciated.

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I cant imagine that he wouldnt fall in love with you after that email .... Hey! *I'm* in love with you after that email!
I don't think I would send him that email.
:-) Thank you so much...its nice to know that someone gets me -- most people think my humor is weird :-)
I think we are both on facebook now - - we need to hook up there.
JH
This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
JH
If I am reading between the lines correctly, you are gearing up to tell SS ILY??
I wrote that to CM in a valentine last Feb, and felt waaaay more relaxed getting my feelings out there.
I think SS and CM may be alot alike.
JH
ok - pick a last paragraph...
So...the point of this long email that you had to read all the way down here to find - is my conscious need to know that I’m safe in this relationship. What that means to me is that I need to make sure that you’re not just passing time with me -- that you’re seeing a possible future with me…that I’m not looking for something that’s not there because I am getting in deep.
JH
I honestly can't think of another way to word what you are feeling.
JH
This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
JH
Men HATE to be asked about relationship status and he gave you a timeline about talking about it which means he doesn't want to .
JH
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