State of the Union

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
State of the Union
32
Tue, 10-21-2008 - 10:29am

I am a chicken!


I am sending this to SS today unless someone here stops me! It's the stupid email I've held in my outbox for 2 months and keep tweeking...


Warning!!!! I am organizing the blondness... I can’t sleep – sleep hates me! I know this is coming out of left field but...


Remember when we had that uber serious talk a while back and you told me I couldn’t bring anything serious up again for 3 months…time’s up! We rarely talk about this stuff which you know is way fine with me…I just need a checkpoint every so often. Sometimes I do have insecurities just like every other crazy girl…I just like to stuff them way down deep until I lose it in the produce department of Kroger over not knowing what kind of apples you like. So in an effort to avoid such a scene and any possible incarceration…......I am emailing :-)


First off…I don’t want anything to change because I am not unhappy in the slightest. There is nothing you have said or done that sparked this email...I'm just in my head about it and will sleep better getting it out. So it's really all about me as usual :-) My insecurities are not like the ones Em has with Jimmy (ex’s, jealousy, control) – I don’t have any of those with you. You have been nothing but respectful to me which I truly appreciate more than I can express here. Most importantly I want you to know that I have a lot of respect for you…I’m seriously serious about that…seriously! The frosting…or the tiara :-)… is that you make me laugh – I am the best version of myself with you. You don’t get mad and yell when I f**k things up. You look really yummy in the mornings (you look yummy all the time! but especially in the am). You keep me drunk and happy when I’m over there. You do a lot of little things that you might think are insignificant but that make me feel wanted. AND…you sit on the couch and watch college football with me…what more could a dirty girl want? I know what I have here in you, I appreciate it and I get more and more emotionally invested the more time I spend with you so in turn I’m becoming way attached. Sometimes is scares me and its just hard for me to let those feelings known because you might – and I know in my head that this is unreasonable– but if I tell you how I feel you might say – "that’s stupid – I don’t want to be with you". That is my insecurity - now you know :-) I try to keep it in check but I think I overcompensate sometimes too so I’m not sure you have any idea how I feel about you.


So...the point of this long email that you had to read all the way down here to find - is my conscious need to know that I’m safe in this relationship. What that means to me is that I need to make sure that you’re not just passing time with me -- that you’re seeing a possible future with me…that I’m not looking for something that’s not there because I am getting in deep.


Yep – I guess you know fo shiz…I’m F’d three ways to the weekend but at least it only comes out every once in a while - no straight jacket required (unless your into that kinda thing but that's an entirely different email)...Anyway, feedback from you would be mucho appreciated.


JH

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 5:32pm

LOL SS's humor....if I am reading between the lines right the "disappearing pork loin" dish sould quite, ummmm, juicy.


unfortunatly - or not...SS is wasnt making a play on words here...He's talking about food.

JH

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Thu, 10-23-2008 - 5:36pm

don't you think the rasberry chipolte sauce might burn??


LMAO!!!!! Great response!

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs

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