Stood up AGAIN!? U MUST B KIDDING!?!
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| Mon, 07-23-2007 - 10:06am |
ARGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!
He stood me up again!
And this time I am beyond furious. HE RUINED MY ENTIRE WEEKEND!
First of all, Friday night WE were supposed to go out alone. Then he asked if we could go see his friend Pat play at his band. I said cool. Then he said his friend is coming from out of town and if he and the guys girlfriend can come with. I said SURE! Then, I tell him to just go out with the guys on Friday night and I'll do my own thing. Well, he ends up going over to this guy and the girlfriends place and they all went out to see Mr.History's friend play in the band. So instead of him going out with the guys, he ends up going out with the guy and the girl. Fine, no big deal. I made my own plans. Mr. History decides to meet me later. He shows up bombed. We stayed a little while where I was and then he took me to his place. WE WERE supposed to get up early the next morning for the Winery. HE ends up tooo tired and starts whining around about his knee hurting that he's tired. I tell him to just forget it then. He said, we still have the next day and that he'll call me at night. THAT NIGHT, he calls me late and says he was really really sick and that he is sorry for what happened and he's feeling awful. I!!! LIKE AN IDIOT, feel sorry for him. Ask him if I can get him something, etc etc. He says no, I just want to go to sleep again, I'll call you tomorrow.
SUNDAY MORNING...... He doesn't call. I send him a text, if he's ok. No response. I go about my business and around 3:30 send him another text that I'm REALLY worried about him now because I haven't heard from him all day. NO answer. I decided to drive over to his place. His car is in the parking lot. I go upstairs and his room mate answers. She says: He isn't here, he left with his friends this morning!!!!!!
THEY ALL WENT TO THE LAKE!!!!!!!!!!!
I called him and left him a voice message:
Thanks for blowing me off, you could of just been a man about it and said you didn't want to be with me.
He contacts me at 9pm and says he got my message: That he was at the lake with his guy buddies and that he left his phone at home and wasn't blowing me off. That I've been SO angry these last couple of days and that it scares him.
ANGRY? NO FREAKING WAYYYYYYYY!!!!! YOU THINK?>???? Anyone wonder WHY??? I would just be the slightest FREAKING IRRITATED!!!!!!!
I wrote him back this:
Reminder!!!! After yesterday's fiasco you said we'd have today. REMEMBER NOW? I THOUGHT
YOU were maybe REALLY SICK, so I was worried. INSTEAD you stood me up AGAIN. I have been nothing but worried about you, thoughtful and respectful and you have been nothing but incosiderate and disrespectful to me and my time. This weekend was total proof of that. It shows the lack and concern you have of me as your girlfriend, let alone as a person. Blame whatever you want on me. I could give a DAMN.
*******Of course I haven't heard back from him, but I am so LIVID! THAT I could just absolutely punch the day lights out of him.*********
How DARE HE! What the HECK!!??? I have been so nice to him. I have done so many nice things for him and he has been such a jerk. A selfish, incosiderate JERK! Always about him!!! I'm just so FURIOUS!!!
One minute he apologizes and the next he's walking all over me again! What in the world!!???
And then he says I have been so angry the last couple of days and it SCARES HIM?? What am I supposed to say. HE ruined the ENTIRE weekend.
I'm so angry. I really want to give him a piece of my mind. I'm so livid that I can't seem to see anything BUT red. I wasn't even this angry with the last two people I dated.
I've been SO cool about him being with his friends and spending time with them. They are all not working or they are all doing something so he has all day with them. THAT ASS had the odasity to tell me that he is REALLY in love with me and blah blah blah blah. I am glad I never said it back and I'm glad that I told him that I didn't believe it, because I didn't think it was enough time for him to feel that way. WHAT A JOKE!!!
I'm so furious that I just HOPE he contacts me again, because then I am going to really give him a piece of my mind and FLIP OUT!
Oh and forgot to say: HE APOLOGIZED SATURDAY night for RUINING our Saturday plans. HE APOLOGIZED and did it all over again on SUNDAY!!! WHAT IS UP WITH THIS GUY???!!!!!!!!!!!
Edited 7/23/2007 10:08 am ET by myprecioustwo

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Wow!
Oh NO! Let me rephrase. I TOLD him to go out with his friends and I never said ONE WORD about him with the whole FRIDAY thing. I offered him to go out. Maybe the girlfriend wanted to tag along. I don't know and it doesn't matter. That didn't tick me off at all. I was just a little miffed because he was hanging out with them all night ACROSS THE STREET from where I was and didnt' think to come over and introduce us. BUT I said NOTHING.
It was SATURDAYS hang over from the night before THAT riled me. WE PLANNED the Winery for TWO WEEKS NOW! That is what PISSSED me off so badly. I could have gone to the beach this weekend or anything. That is what I told him. That is why he apologized because he ruined Saturday. THEN he tells me that we have SUNDAY and then that night he's feeling SOOO SICK! BULL CRAP! His buddies called him on Saturday night to invite him the next morning to the lake that is what it WAS!!!!
Sorry to hear you had such a bad weekend. It sounds to me like you two are just too different. You like to make plans in advance and stick to them. Which is probably like most of us including me. And he is very spur of the moment/get caught up in the moment. Which is why he says he loves you so fast. And why you had the stand up problem from before - didn't he do this once before where you were supposed to meet and he didn't show up until really late? Sorry that I am foggy on that.
I think the only thing I would have done different is to go out with him and his friends on Friday - while it is annoying that you two had made special plans - it is unavoidable that people drop into town and need to be included if even for a bit. But I don't think that would have prevented the subsequent hangover and failure of plans on Saturday AM or the running off to the lake and leaving you hanging. Perhaps he sensed/assumed somehow that you were mad on Friday because you didn't go and he knew you were nearby? And perhaps the house thing made him realize you are looking for something more serious right off the bat?
I guess all of this makes it easy to say next. It is a bummer for sure. But maybe better to know now than later? I guess your gut was right on this one.
Oh no, Cat. I'm sorry this happened. He does seem too busy and into his friends. I'm sure some of that is just the teacher in him trying to take advantage of his summer off, but you can't have plans with someone and just forget about it. I met a guy that was also a teacher, and a coach. A bit of the same problems with him in that he had always been single, was very social and had a large group of friends. He was too busy for me being a single mom and I let him go.
I would be mad about being stood up as well. I have to say that I have been stood up more than I have dated. The climate seems weird. No wonder they are single if they can't get their act together for even a date.
I do have to agree with the others in that I would have gone ahead and gone with him on Friday. You all had plans and just because friends came in from out of town I wouldn't have just canceled.
I would simply NEXT him. It isn't worth the energy to make a big deal about it. You two are just too different.
Sorry your weekend was a bust.
Priscilla
He said he see's his friend only 4 times a year. I thought it would be nice of him to just hang out with him and his other guy friends. It was a kind gesture and I didn't at all get upset with him on Friday Night. I was happy to see him and introduced him to my friends and we danced awhile and had a nice time. So no, I never let him know that I was suprised that the girlfriends went along. I wasn't upset, because I figured he might not have known. HE DID invite me, so their was nothing to be upset about. I just assumed that he might want a guy night wiht his friends. I let him have the open option and he took it, stating that he and his friends decided to go out that night (guys only) afterall. If plans changed, it wasn't his fault. So no, I NEVER mentioned it and honestly, I was really cool about it. I was just ticked that I gave him that option and then Saturday and Sunday he screws me over like that. Friday has NEVER been mentioned, nor will it. It's all about Saturday and Sunday. I just told you all about Friday, because I was trying to be cool and let him have some guy time. Instead, he used this entire weekend as guy time with NO consideration of me at all. He might have pulled the same thing Friday night if I hadn't had mentioned it to him first.
AND YES, that is why my heading states STOOD UP AGAIN. He did this LAST week to me. And we said it wasn't a deal breaker, but it was a huge deal. NOW it's definitely a deal breaker. He completely messed up last week and now my entire weekend. Inconsiderate and disrespectful of me.
I agree about the teacher/social thing. Plus him being kidless means he is more carefree than not. Although I don't want anyone to nix someone without kids - because they can be good, too.
Was just thinking too, that it IS a big deal for Cat to have fun plans to go to the winery - because it is the ONE TIME during the year she gets free me-time away from her kids. And I would really look forward to those plans if I was Cat. And I would hate it if someone just ditched them because they were too hungover or wanted to run off drinking with friends. I mean the least he could do is suck it up and get out of bed and drink coffee so he can take her to the winery.
Perhaps, Cat, you just learned something good about you - you prefer someone organized who sticks to the plans and prefers "quality me and you time" to the party animal. And I know that is me too!!!!!
Okay - GOTCHA. Well, then, he gets the boot in the ole bottom. Ahoy matee - time to walk the plank. Two weekends in a row is way too many for me!!!
Edited to add: I had a bf like that once - and it never got better - it got worse. He always wanted to go out with friends and he was always too hungover to do anything really special. I ended up making him walk the plank - but really in retrospect I wasted way too much time with him. (This was in my 20s when I really cared more about work.)
Edited 7/23/2007 11:06 am ET by cl-west1745
Are their even guys with and without kids that can balance their personal life?? I'm thinking NOT. It's always something. I meet the most SELFISH GUYS!
Someone hinted to me that I should start being online without my pictures and see what happens. That I should talk to them for a couple of weeks without meeting them and then never give them a picture until they actually see me and get to know me. Thoughts?
The reason being. My friends, guys and girls, say that they are only looking at the picture and think eye candy. They aren't even paying attention to the profile. So I need to just keep my picture off the profile and see if a real sincere guy will contact me without one.
Aha - you have a beautiful pic and you should keep it up there because it gives you a better selection when so many are interested. I just think you have to manage the applicants. I think you have to make it a rule to date at least 3 guys for a few weeks before you "settle" on one so to speak. This gives you a chance to see if they make plans and keep them. Scrutinize the beginning stages.
There are ones who will make plans and stick to them. I promise.
This one is not so bad - he is just different with the planning/socializing thing.
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