Talking on the phone

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Talking on the phone
8
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 2:24pm

My x-bf and I never hardly ever talked on the phone when one of us had our child with us.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 3:01pm

I am running into the same questions. The guy I am have started going out with lives out of state from his girls. I have my son 24/7 and joint custody of my 10 y/o daughter. I don't talk on the phone when I have my daughter. Partly because of her age and partly because I am not comfortable talking to him while she is around. Not at this point, anyway.

We do email and text on a daily basis. We don't talk everyday, but usually at least every other day. I don't have alot of spare time, so I can't spend LOTS of time chatting with ANYONE on the phone. I can't talk on the phone at work. This is new territory for me too, so I want to hear how everybody else handles this.

I won't introduce anyone to my children unless we are exclusive and it is serious. I feel very strongly about that.
Stephanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 3:27pm

I guess my situation is a little different considering that my dd is only 2. I talk on the phone with family and friends when she is around, but not usually to anyone I'm dating. But then again, I don't really have to "explain" anything to her at this point. However, if I am going to be on the phone with someone I'm dating I generally wait until she is asleep. That way I don't have my attention in 15 different places. It's not so easy to chase down a 2 year old and have a conversation on the phone at the same time, as you all know...lol.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2005
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 5:42pm


My boyfriend and I live one hour away from each other, and we have different days off, so it's really hard to get together. We rely on phone conversations, text messaging and email to keep in touch.

We do talk everyday. He usually leaves me a message or text message in the morning on his way to work (at the ungodly hour of 4:45am). I usually call back on my way to work (10am) and leave him a message. We talk on our lunch break, and driving home from work.

Once I get home, I focus on DD for the majority of the time and I usually call him once she's gone to bed. Occasionally we talk while she's up which is fine because I either let her watch a movie or she'll speak with him also. We have told her that he is just one of mommy's friends, so obviously they have met, but we engage in no PDA around her other than hand holding which she is okay with as we hold her hand too.

Hope this helps

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 7:51pm

I think you are very wise to ask this question. It is okay for him to be so open with his kids but I agree with you that I would not be that open in front of your dd. Stand your ground for your own values and set your own boundaries right from the start.

So, my advise would be to avoid answering the phone if you are really busy and engaged with DD and if you are able to talk for a sec go ahead and answer and tell him you will call back in a bit. Besides, this keeps it interesting!!

It is great that he is calling you!! And nice that he gets a sitter. Try not to compare him too much to your exbf - that guy had huge commitment issues and never really included you in his life - this is a relief that the new one is not following suit - I think you just have to set boundaries a bit and only do what works for you and what is comfortable for you.

How is everything going?

I have been so busy studying - like every day from really early to really late. Study, cook, study, cook. I leave for my exams next Sunday.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 7:58pm

I think you should listen to your inner voice and give yourself a big pat on the back for this statement, "I won't introduce anyone to my children unless we are exclusive and it is serious. I feel very strongly about that."

Amen, sister!! :-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 8:19pm

When do your exams end?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 12-11-2005 - 10:55pm

Well it all sounds good to me right now so far from what you say. He definitely sounds like he has the right intentions by what he has done with the gifts and the calls and such.

I think it is good for you to hold your heart back a bit and go slow and see what happens over the next few months. That is always best. The drama with his gf, while not optimal, does sound like it is under control.

It is great that you can surprise your mom with this trip - how wonderful for you and dd!!

Are you counting down the days to the move into your new home? You are certainly DUE all of these good things in your life. And I pray that they keep on streaming in!! No more pooky for any of us!! LOL!!

Anyway, thanks for asking about my test. I have really loved the process of learning and pushing myself. I have a huge notebook - it is 11 tests over 4 days with 4 of those being in the kitchen. I have finished all of the work except for practicing 2 of the practicals and I can finish those this week. I have really enjoyed pouring myself into this and forgetting everything else and feel very at peace. I have worked all weekend and now my desk is clear.

I will keep you guys posted - I think I can pass - but have to stay focused and have energy for next week. DS has really helped a lot - he was SO good today - followed all of the rules -cleaned his room, paid attention to the time for coming home, helped in the kitchen, even got to bed on time all on his own. I showed him the notebook and all of the tests for the first day and he was pretty impressed with the work load. Makes his homework look pale in comparison.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 12-12-2005 - 9:26am

Wow, that is impressive.

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