Tara, First, Candi, Becky, Sunshinemin..
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Tara, First, Candi, Becky, Sunshinemin..
| Thu, 06-02-2005 - 11:33am |
and quite a few others regulars. Anyone know where they are? Haven't seen them update anything (except for First) since before I went on vaca.

I know Candy left the board a while back, she said it was getting too negative or too uptight or something, and we haven't seen her since. Maggie still Cl's the South Beach Diet board. I saw a post from Tara not too long agao. That's about all I know. I wonder what's up with all of them? I'm wondering if First is busy with her new kitties! I hope they respond!
Hi Cat - I'm very rarely on the boards at all anymore . . .
Glad to hear your are looking forward to your move and that you are in love.
Best wishes.
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
I'm here, just more lurking. The kitties are keeping me busy, especially since of them became deathly ill two days after I got them. Some kind of virus she must have got from a cat at her foster home. We've been to the vet twice, and she is slowly recovering. They are very cute, sweet and cuddly. DD wants to keep their names, and I think we'll keep the name Katinas but I'm hoping we can agree on a different name for Bambam.
Mostly I've been lurking because I'm not in the mood to post. Nothing personal to any of you, but whenever I see a post about dating I want to post as it relates to me and J and then I stop myself. I can't keep harping on the end of the relationship, even though I'm thinking about him all the time. He called again on Friday night (well he called last Wednesday too but I didn't answer, and when I called back he didn't answer so we didn't talk then). When he called on Friday night we talked and I held my ground that I can't see him unless there is a future for us. The next day I broke down and left him a message that if he still wanted to come over, I did want to see him. He didn't call back. This was one of those weeks that I was SO glad I have a great therapist.
I've been trying to stay busy (kitties are helping with that). Plus I have a book due back at the library on Saturday and tonight is my last night before dd comes back from her dads. It's a 2 week checkout and I've already renewed it once, I can't renew it again. I guess if I don't finish it I have to return it and go get it again the next weekend. It's a book about living a compassionate life, and it really doesn't look like I'll finish it. That is okay, I'm pretty compassionate already :)
Hi
I guess I've slipped more into lurkdom. ;) Not much time to spend on the board and not much to say I guess.
I did read about your new love, that's great for you! I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.
I've been busy with the kids, now job hunting and spending time with my honey.
All my best
Tara
LOL West! I burned the crud out of my chest last Saturday while working in my parents' yard for an hour with my dad. LOL! Besides that, no. No bubble baths recently, either. When it's 105 outside, the last thing I want to do is sit in hot water - although I've been enjoying our hammock and several books lately . . . .
Both of my boys are great. Jojo just turned 7 last weekend and is excited about school getting out (not until June 22) and is doing great in tennis. Alex is fantastic. He's starting to talk more and more and he's happy as a little clam. We finally finished all of the evaluations and testing with him - and although he's not fine - it's nothing too bad - and it's also nothing that we can get any help with. My TT is fantastic - and we're experiencing a second honeymoon right now after several very tough months - complete with gifts and love notes and flowers and candlelit back rubs . . . AND - both of my step kids will be here very soon - my dsd is coming June 13th for a week - we had a great time with her at her high school graduation last month up in Nebraska, her ex-boyfriend (weird, I know, we love him) is coming June 24th for a weekend and dss is coming July 1 for 10 days . . . with his girlfriend joining him the last 4 days of the trip - and he is REALLY looking forward to his senior year of college and graduating next May! :)
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
I don't think I'm being very strong. Since I left him that message that I did want him to come over, I've let that down too much. He called last night again. He didn't ask to see me but we did talk for a long time. One thing about his custody situation has always been that he handled it. He had to go to court, he handled it. He was depressed, he appreciated me being there to take his mind of things but he didn't burden me with it. I could be supportive without feeling this was my problem to fix. He's not handling it well right now. He might not see his son for the summer visitation because the two of them are fighting too much to agree on a time and the logistics, and he has no money to take her back to court. He got mad and let her push his buttons and sent her a nasty email, that certainly won't help him, but he just couldn't take it any more. He feels that he's missed his son's front teeth falling out, his missed two baseball seasons including playoffs and it's just over, he'll never get that time back and even if he can get to see his son it's so awkward between them because it's been too much time apart. He doesn't have enough time to really get comfortable with each other again, so it ends up being more painful than to not see him. This is coming from a man who said their bond was unbreakable no matter what she ever did to them. He's falling apart. The thing is, I can't fix it. I can't be his therapist. I'm not even his girfriend anymore. It's clear that he needs me too, that he doesn't want to lose me, but that he can't see any way to keep me because being with me means he could never move. He doesn't sound like he thinks moving is an option right now (from our talk last night), but he knows it might become an option down the road. Part of me does feel stronger, but it's so hard to tell someone that needs you that you can't be there for them because they aren't there enough for you, when the reason they can't be there for you is that they are in so much pain and someone else has them on a string like puppet. I know I should have a no contact rule, but it's hard becuase I don't want to be broken up. I want to be with him. I just want more than he can give, so I keep answering the phone thinking I'll hear what I want to hear. I just hear pieces of it. Last night he was saying things that showed he appreciates me and what I've done, and then he says things about knowing he has to move on, not let this destroy him. But how long will it be before that happens? Years? I don't want to spend years in limbo, I won't do that to myself or my dd.
See, this is why I've been lurking. To avoid long rambling posts like this that are really just a smattering of the confusion I feel in knowing I have to let go, and wanting to hold on.
Oh First, good thing you rambled. That story is such a tragedy. His ex is heartless and makes such a mess of everyone's lives. There are truly no easy answers for either you or J.
I think you are totally on the right page in your perception of the situation and you are in a healthy place in putting you and DD first and looking out for your needs. I know you should have a no contact rule - but sometimes you need to have enough contact to have closure and maybe that is what you need? It sounds like you are getting to that more now than before. You see it for what it is instead of what you want to see.
Time will fix this. I know you want the outcome to be with the right person who puts you and DD first. I wish this for you - and for all of us.