Taz is slowly losing it again .....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Taz is slowly losing it again .....
38
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 6:31pm

Im not sure where to go from here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 9:04am

OMG - that is so scary for all of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 9:45am

Ok, I havent heard back from Psyc yet - & my atty is in trial so i cant get him. Praying

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 10:03am
Hey Rebecca you did great....and I agree with you that nobody would send her after what happened the other day. I am sure the psych will help you since it isnt as if Taz has been able to control himself and keep it together during sessions. He is clearly unraveling to anyone who has half a brain....
BIG HUGS and be very careful....When will he be informed of the emergency motion?
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 10:17am

Rebecca, I'm so glad the mediator recommended not to send Ave.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 10:20am

Ok, my atty called. He said a letter from the psyc will be helpful but really, a judge cant cross examine a letter, so if i dont get it from the psyc, then its not that big of a deal.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 10:32am

Edited to add: we were typing at the same time, so I hadn't read your latest post when I pressed 'submit'.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 10:56am
I think your friend might be right unfortunately. I dont think he sees Ave as Ave anymore- I think he sees her as a way to you and I dont know that he will be able to change that without TONS of extensive therapy....and even then, I just dont know. Mental illness is so unpredictable and he may not turn this around.
I think if I were you I would finally be at the point where I had to admit to him and everyone else including myself that he was not worth the energy it took/takes to hope he could come around and be a good Dad. It is too big a gamble for Ave and for you to keep on believing that with the right amount of time and support, he will get there. I think it would be good for him to see your actions and words add up to saying you now believe the bad stuff has outweighed and eclipsed what used to be the good ( I know you said he was wonderful with her when she was tiny) and you have written him off as simply a danger to her. In some way, through agreeing to the therapy and keeping it going he does know that you are holding out hope that he will get his act together. But this process is costing Ave a lot and he is simply not devoted enough to the work that needs to be done. At this point, and until and if he is ever post therapy ready to be a dad, he is of no use to her whatsoever. He is only a source of fear, anxiety and agony to your little girl.
Now I know having said that that YOU cannot control what the courts do. You cant make the decision on your own that you are taking full custody and leaving him out of the picture. But you can make it clear to him that although you wont break the law and risk being in trouble when you are the only one she has left, you no longer believe that he is anything but a negative influence on her - yes, you will do what the courts order but you have stopped believing in a happy ending. You have been giving him the benefit of the doubt for so long and I really think he hangs on to that and counts on it. You have been tough on him I know but underneath it all the message is that he needs to get it together and step up. It would be a step in a different direction I think for you to say you dont think he will step up and get it together anymore but you know you are obligated to follow court orders. I think too that the courts and judges figure out when people are hoping and thinking things might still work out. They may be picking up on you still holding out hope and taking your cue since you have been so valiantly trying to do right by him while you do right for Ave. If you let go and give up this hope, as painful as that is, it would send a different message to them.
If he does ever get his act together it would be amazing and wonderful but for now, he doesnt deserve for you to have faith in that. He has put Ave in too much turmoil to get that faith from you that those feelings from when she was tiny will prevail and give Ave the father she deserves.
I am sending you strength - I know you guys will get through this. Ave is a strong little girl and you are the best mother she could ever hope for.
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 10:58am

PHEW! Sounds like the mediator agrees with you not to send and just get backup documentation which I am sure you will get - especially after the suicidal comment in front of Avery. And you are right - no sane parent would send their kid into that.

I pray that you are able to convince the mediator that he needs more help before he can see her on his own. Your instincts are spot on - I agreed with Shrimps that we don't want this to turn into one of those cases where he does something really bad.

HUGS and good luck!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 11:11am
What is the criteria where you live on having someone committed to a mental health facility? From the things you are posting it definitely sounds like he is a danger to himself and/or others. I agree with Soonee on the psych. What good is it if he keeps letting Taz have contact with Avery. He is obviously very mentally ill. Do not under any circumstances let him around Ave. I would also be VERY careful about what is going on around you at all times. He really sounds like he is totally off the deep end this time.
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 11:13am

I too dont like this trying over & over w/ the psyc - BUT, its a court order that we attend. So thats the reason.


My freind was ok w/ the situation, her kiddo was to little to realize it, thankfully.


Speaking of "The One" ... lol

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