Tell me I'm not crazy!
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Tell me I'm not crazy!
| Sat, 02-02-2008 - 7:32pm |
Here I am on this board, read it everyday, but have no urge whatsoever to date!!!! I've been separated since Dec. 06 and divorced since May 07. I feel like it was yesterday. I've been in counseling ever since and I'm working my rear end off trying to focus on me and my kids. I'm still living in our marital home, trying to sell it for the last year to no avail. I'm not settled. I've had some changes that affect me directly within my job...and heath problems to boot! So, I'm rational enough to know that I'm in no position to give of myself to anyone. I'm focusing on me. But...please tell me that this desire to BE with someone again will come back. I think about wanting company in bed (not sexually) and I actually like sharing my bed with my dogs! I don't miss sex at all and actually have only had sex once in June and it was horrible!!! Where did my libido go?? PLease someone, tell me that this will all come back. My friends say date...it can't hurt. Just keep it casual and focus on having fun. If nothing else it gives me a night out. But, even that I have no desire for. I'm just as content laying on my couch and watching tv. I'm trying to be more social with the few friends I do have left and think of THAT as a good start. I barely have the desire to even pick up the phone and call anyone! I cringe sometimes when I look at caller id and know it's a friend. Just chit chatting annoys me sometimes! My ex has a girlfriend and part of me says why is he allowed to be happy and I can't even get motivated to go have a drink with a good looking man?! Am I missing something here or is this normal?

To be completely honest--I was like this for a long time after I had my son (you may remember a recent post--I was datless (and sexless) for 7 years!)
April
Maybe you are just going through the post divorce blues and maybe it is more but my advice would be to start being more active and try and shift your body back. Even if you do it slowly I think it is important for you. And I think you writing this post was a great start to getting back to your old self. You are not crazy! You are smart to be reaching out and asking for others to give you some feedback...
All my best...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v151/emmaharvey/siggys/karie1copy.jpg
I also think it is completely within reason that you are not interested in dating quite yet. Certainly if you find yourself going out with friends or have a whim to meet for coffee with someone new, I would deny yourself these simple pleasures just because you arent ready for Mr Soulmate. Some of my best friends were met during a time where I wasnt ready for Mr Soulmate so I am glad I was still out there and staying active. But I think you will know in your heart when you are ready to re enter the dating field in earnest. Just off the top of my head I think I knew I was ready because I was more charmed when I saw couples that were friends of mine and felt a bit envious of their connection, felt more flirtatious on a regular basis and started just noticing men in a different way in general again.
It is very possible that you just haven't met the right person!
April
I think you are totally nomal.