Ten rules for dating the single mom...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Ten rules for dating the single mom...
20
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 5:42pm

In my reflection of heartbreaker and figuring out what I want to do about our newfound friendship I was looking through some old emails. I wrote this and posted it on Craigslist of all places, I just wanted to get it out there... he never saw it of course. I thought I'd share it with you all.. just thoughts in my head after thinking of all the things that could have gone wrong, listening to stupid wives complain about husbands and such...


Funny thing was my email EXPLODED from people thanking me for this post LOL.


10 Rules for dating the single mom...


1) Make sure she is financially stable. When I say this I do not mean that she has to be making 100k + I mean make sure that she is not wanting you just for a bigger house, or a nicer car. Two incomes make life much easier.. but income does not make a relationship. Just make sure she can pay her bills. The single mom just wants a loving partner in life just like anyone else.


2) Take it easy on her if the house isn't always in perfect order. Kids can be hard work and just the same as two incomes making life a bit easier.. so do two people helping out around the house.


3) If her 5 year old says to you "Are you going to marry my mommy?" No, this does not mean that they are starved for a father figure. No, this does not mean that the Mom is filling her kids full of fishing lines. This simply means that

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 6:22pm

Great post Michelle!


I like the parts about asking her about her past and her kids, because I agree it does show you a lot of who she is, how she handles life and how well behaved her children are.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 8:07pm
These are really good.

JH

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 8:53pm
Hahahahhaa!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 9:00pm
Yeah -I wonder what SS's reaction will be the first flare up he see's. So far DS10 has been an angel around him and he really ususally is.

JH

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 9:00pm
I'm sending number 5 to Mr. Summer. Maybe now he'll get why I wouldn't include my kids!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 11:44am

For the most part I agree, but... this part of #8 Does she get child support yet constantly calls to ask for money to pay for their summer vacation, school clothes, dance lessons and such? Umm, thats what child support is for.


Not true, at least in my case.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 11:47am
My friend does this and her ex makes half of what she does.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 11:52am

Doesn't seem fair to me that she makes that much and he pays out already and then she wants extra.


What IS fair, then?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 12:00pm

Yes, but she squanders the checks by staying in a hotel in Boston which cost $500.00 because it had a pool.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 12:02pm

Love it!


I like 9 & 10. I take time each day to make sure I feel & look presentable. Sometimes that just means hair brushed, and a lil mascara so I feel ready to take on the day. When NC (or any date) notices and says "You look really nice today" it makes a girl feel good! Because come on, its easy to forget about ourselves when we're so consumed about taking care of our kids and giving them our all. Also 10, I HATE being labelled because I'm a single mom, especially a single mom of 3. I do wonder if guys are thinking "Hmmm, 3 kids huh... wonder if they have the same dad...wonder how bad she wants to marry some dude to take care of her...." etc. My cousin is JUST like the example you did of nickle & diming her ex and constanting demanding more and more child support from him even tho he already gives her quite a lot (1 child) and its no where near what it costs to raise her son plus she demands half of everything else like daycare, that he pay for clothing, extra curriculars etc. She is so money hungry it drives me nuts! He ex is an ass, don't get me wrong. BUT he does step up to the child support plate and pays. And because he's so amicable about paying, she takes advantage and is always asking for more and more and more and that to me is a stereotype lots of single moms get, because of a few "bad apples".


Good job Trauma Junkie! I like your list :)

 

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