Thanks guys!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
Thanks guys!!
6
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:05pm

I just wanted to say "Thank You" to all of you. It feels so good to finally be able to talk to women who can really relate to how I am feeling. It was so helpful to be able to put a word with what I am feeling -mourning. Now all of these feelings make a little more sense to me and I like it so much better when I understand what I am feeling. It makes me feel more in control, if that makes any sense.

I think one of the hardest things is knowing that I allowed myself to be treated this way for so long, and once I decided to finally stand up for myself and make a change...he became the truly "poisonous" ex. Everytime I sense we are about to be in conflict I just get this big pit in my stomach....but then I just remind myself that it means I am about to get more practice in standing up for myself, which is ultimately a good thing.

And you guys were right about losing a sense of identity. My entire identity was being a wife and a mom. I have been married for 14 years and a mother for 12, so thats a major portion of my life.

So thanks again for the listening ear and the big ((((hugs)))). I will definitely be sticking around. And I am so glad to have found you all!!

And I am definitely in the discovering-the-real-me mode. The me thats been hiding all these years and allowing other voices to drown her out.

--tj

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: findingtj
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:24pm

OH - we are so glad to help. I could have written your note here myself!

Especially the part about being sad about being treated that way for so long. And the part about getting the knot in your stomach when you stand up to your exh. I had that for a long time before I was able to set all the boundaries and teach him "that doesn't work for me"

You have come a long way. And we are so happy to have one more - we need all the help and experience we can get!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
In reply to: findingtj
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 9:48pm

I know this is off topic a bit, but being such a newbie to this I am struggling a bit with a lot of these abbreviations I keep seeing. I finally figured out BOB by following rlch thread...what a riot!! But I havent figured out STBX and I am sure there will be others to follow. Is there a place to find this kind of info???

--tj

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: findingtj
Fri, 04-20-2007 - 10:46pm

Is there a place to find this kind of info???


You can always ask here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
In reply to: findingtj
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 8:33am

I'm so happy to read your post- the tone of this one is much less sad than the last one.

We're always here, so feel free to vent, and please chime in on some of our stories too- we love advice!

Moody, just starting the day


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: findingtj
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 12:01pm

It is buried under "about the boards" - here is a direct link:
http://www.ivillage.com/community/0,,nvmt,00.html

STBX is soon to be ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
In reply to: findingtj
Sat, 04-21-2007 - 7:13pm

AWESOME!!! Think I will have to print that out until they can soak into my brain ;-)

--tj