thinking of joining OLD again

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
thinking of joining OLD again
28
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 4:40pm
well, i updated my profile info and got three emails today.... that was totally unexpected. so, i'm thinking of joining Match so that i can read them.. but this time I'll only sign up for one month. That should be plenty of time to see all the new people.... I just hate that I don't have email at home.. but there's always the library....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 6:24pm

OLD works for some and not others. The best thing about it is that it will hopefully give you valuable dating/people experience and also make you feel like you have a chance at meeting someone new.

I think it is a good idea. I wish there were other ways for you to meet someone. Do you have an association for designers for your profession? Or some other business networking that will help you get out there more?

It is so hard for all of us as we age and as we get shut in between our jobs and kids. I feel for you - I know you have been trying. It is refreshing to see you are looking for new ways to meet someone.

At the very least it is more stories for us!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 6:56pm

Alright I'll do it...

Here is the skinny on the three who emailed me

The first guy...
"JUST TO BE STRAIGHT... I have never done these online things before but i am willing to give it a try. My name is *** and I am 37 years old. I am separated and I have a son and enjoy spending a lot of time with him. I would like to find someone who enjoys spending time together whether it be going out to dinner or just hanging out at home. I'm pretty easy going. I enjoy many different activities, like the beach, watching movies, dining out to name a few. I'm open to many different activities, especially new ones."

Sounds good except for the "seperated" part... and I wonder if his photo is current or if he looks older in person.. but dating an older man would be a good change for me. I am interested to see what he wrote to me.

The second guy...
"LA_flyboy
Wow - A man actually looking for a relationship and marriage. I have been devoted to my job/country and that has cost me in terms of relationships but now it is time for me to take care of myself and find someone special. I have recently retired from the Air Force and am looking for a new job and place to live...and am definitely open to taking a chance and moving somewhere new, especially if I find someone interesting..."

He wrote a LOT more so I won't copy it.. but He is 42 (a lot older than my normal date). Again, not sure if his photos are current... and I HATE that...

The third guy...
He's emailed me before and I wasn't interested... i guess he's trying again or forgot. I don't like his picture at all. His "in your own words" was very boring and generic.

"I am looking for a friends first and then see where it goes.I am divorce and have spend most of my time with my son the last two years.We have gone to busch gardens, bowing, rollerstaking and spending time at the local parks to hanging out at the house watching movies.I apend alot of tmie with my son and looking to start dating again. I am open to anything new and exciting (going out), but also enjoy a quiet evening at home.Someone that excepts me and my son into there life."

Not sure I have privacy to check tonight.. might try early tomorrow morning.

(in other news.. that job from Richmond just called me to set up a phone interview. I'm still at work so I couldn't talk.... But I didn't even send in the second DVD)

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 7:10pm

I think this is a great first lesson in setting up your "must have" and "can't stand" lists - so you are dating mindfully and not just like a feather in the wind - (if you will let my bossy big sister tendencies preach to you ;-) )

WANTED: lives close by, close in age, no addictions, has time for Loony, wants to date Loony, and has the money to show Loony a good time and is emotionally available and ready for something more if Loony wants ;-)

---I would NOT date separated - in my opinion that is a ticket to drama and heartbreak based on my own experience and reading so many stories here. You are not separated - so why should you put up with that?

---42 is quite a bit older and do you really want to deal with a retired guy?

---The third guy doesn't have any red flags - sounds nice - but if you don't like the pic that is understandable.

I totally know what you mean about the pix - that is the chance you have to take with OLD - that you will match on paper but that you won't like the way they look in person or they won't match their pix.

I say that if they really match with their values and interests and ability to have a good relationship then it is worth a try to connect and see if they like you and if they can appeal to you a bit. Chances are that a good attraction will grow and you might have someone nice who romances you and takes you on dates and treats you nice.

Hope you don't mind my "pick 'em apart" commentaries on your profiles - I think this is something I am obsessive compulsive over - I have so many friends who send me those and I enjoy picking them apart. LOL!!

- your self appointed big sis!! :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Mon, 12-03-2007 - 11:23pm

I guess I'm just a grammar snob but I can't stand it when people have all those obvious misspellings like the last guy you posted. I'm such a freak about it that if there's no spell check where ever I'm typing, I'll type it in Word, check it and then copy & paste, lol.


I tried OLD once and didn't really meet anyone. Never went on any dates with anyone from there. I tried that dating by phone thing too and that turned out pretty awful. I was chatting with a guy and it was going ok, but the night we were supposed to go out to dinner he called and said he couldn't make it. His ex girlfriend was in town and "had gotten herself into a situation that she needed his help with." I told him that I was not into dating someone who was that close with his ex. Once again, maybe I'm just a snob but I don't need that kind of crap when I'm trying to date someone.


Good luck with your guys, hopefully you'll find one that fits the bill!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 7:05am

I totally agree with the part about the exgf. What a thing to do on the first date - that definitely comes under my rule of really scrutinizing the initial correspondence and date. If someone does something like that on the first date it does mean they are way too close to an ex and it is rude.

Also I do agree about the grammar and spelling. I can ignore a few typos - but not a whole page of them. That is another great example of taking care to view their initial attempts at communication and looking to the outside to see what you are getting instead of just being needy and wanting the first person who comes along.

The frustrating thing about OLD is that it takes time and does not always yield results at all. Sure, you get to meet a lot of people, but they are not all relationship worthy and many are not a match at all.

So, while it may not yield a boyfriend or true match, it can give a lot of valuable dating experience. I learned so much from the school of OLD!! I could have a degree!! LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 10:00am

Admittedly I don't have a lot of OLD experience, but I don't like putting too many MUST HAVES in my profile... Why? Because i think that sounds bossy or controlling. Remember I'm the "free spirit"... so sure my profile sounds free-spirited... Maybe that means I'll have a lot of rejects email me... but that doesn't mean I reply to them... If someone emails me that doesn't look appealing, then I just ignore it or reply with the generic "No thanks".

Also, remember I'm the girl who gives everyone a chance without much prejudgement. It does take the right attitude to go thru as many reject as I do... but seriously, I'm doing it for the adventure... for the unexpected.... ya never know who you'll meet.... it's all good. I don't view dating like the guy owes me something. I view it as a gift. And that means I've made a choice and chose to look at the positive...

Thanks for the advice.. I'll look at what I said and see what kind of improvements I need to make....

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 10:32am

YES YES YES - I totally agree that those do NOT go in your profile - they go in your head!!

It is great that you describe yourself as a free spirit because you are a fun-loving person who loves to sing and dance and are really sweet and nice.

Okay- keep us posted! We love to hear OLD stories - that is more fun for us!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 11:14am

Okay, tear me apart...lol... below is what I have written in my profile.

My headline is TAKING A LEAP OF FAITH

BODY:Honestly, I enjoy the bar scene as I always have a fun time with friends... but at the same time, i'm trying the online thing to expand the people I meet. I'm a free-spirit-girl-next-door type... think Mary Jane Watson... I'm always trying new things... LaserTag was a blast!... I enjoy intelligent conversations and karaoke. Haven't been to a carnival in a long time. I bet that would be fun, too. I also enjoy renting a movie, or checking out a new restaurant. I view life as a gift and when I go out with someone, I try to share the joy. Email me if you'd like to know what else makes me tick."

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 11:27am

Actually, I think it is the perfect time of the year for anyone to experiment with OLD. Winter is setting in and everyone is stuck inside and looking for things to do. Since things have calmed down a little for me, I was thinking about spending a little more time with it. Definitely need to work on my profile though which is such a chore for me. I read one of replies to this post (I think it was Amanda) that said she used "word" or some other program to compose and then paste it. I think I might do that because this way I wouldn't feel rushed and can really think about it over a period of a few days or so.

Sharon, who absolutely overthinks everything! lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 12:14pm

Good - it is short and sweet. The only thing that comes up for me as a negative is "I enjoy the bar scene" - maybe you want to clarify that a bit more - "I enjoy the bar scene because I like to go out with my friends and sing karaoke and dance."

I was thinking maybe you want to talk about your work and how you like all of your coworkers and the type of artistic work you do.

Maybe list your favorite movies and types of food? The more specifics you put is the more you can grab someone who likes those things, too! :-)

Honestly, I enjoy the bar scene as I always have a fun time with friends... but at the same time, i'm trying the online thing to expand the people I meet. I'm a free-spirit-girl-next-door type... think Mary Jane Watson... I'm always trying new things... LaserTag was a blast!... I enjoy intelligent conversations and karaoke. Haven't been to a carnival in a long time. I bet that would be fun, too. I also enjoy renting a movie, or checking out a new restaurant. I view life as a gift and when I go out with someone, I try to share the joy. Email me if you'd like to know what else makes me tick.

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