Tips for Kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tips for Kids
3
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 8:16am

I am looking to get some advice on how to prepare a child for a move. See my current situation is that I live with my parents, brother and daughter. It has been this way since my daughter was born. So although she has never been around her father, she has always been around people that love her. Currently my mom is doing day care for me while I work (in our home).
So last night B and I were talking about how we would like to start thinking about moving in together. I would have said "ok lets start looking for a place tomorrow", but I have my 3 1/2 year old daughter to think about. He isn't pressering me or anything, but we would both like to start thinking about it. I have no idea how she would react. She has lived with grandma and grandpa her whole life. She gets along with B, and he gets along with her, but I know that living together is a whole new ball game. I have never lived with a guy before, so it is also a change for me. But I am almost 26, and its time for a change.
Has anyone BTDT? I want to hear the good and the bad. Are there any books about this subject? or web sites? Just want to start thinking about things.

Thanks in advance!
Melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 8:24am
Congrats!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 8:53am

I haven't exactly been there, but I did live with my parents after I had children. I think the key is to make sure your daughter still sees your parents on a regular basis, and fairly frequently at first.

You can start to taper off the visits if you'd like, but she still needs to know that her grandparents will always be in her life.

How do your parents feel about you moving out? I know mine had mixed feelings. They understood that I needed my own space, but were sad to see the kids go.

As far as moving in with B, make sure you discuss beforehand your expectations about his role in your daughter's life. I get along with lots of people, but that doesn't mean I'd want to live with them. Is he going to discipline? What about finances? How will you handle things together- things like that.

Your daughter is fairly young, and may not understand everything, but making it sound like lots of fun will help. Once you do find an apartment, but before you've actually moved in, talk up her wonderful bedroom, the nice park nearby, anything that might make her excited.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Moody, not going anywhere for a while


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 12:11pm

Hi

I think your daughter is young enough to cope with the move very well. In my experience, we parents are often fraught with worry that our little ones will not adapt well to change, but I have found that, almost always, they really take it in their stride a lot better than us.

I agree that you can definitely pump up the excitement factor here - your daughter will probably love being able to choose things for her new room etc. I bet she will see the whole thing as a great new adventure.

Will you be moving near your parents? If your mom can continue doing day care for your daughter while you work, this seems like the ideal solution. She would be able to continue to see her grandmother regularly.

This sounds like a great new chapter opening up for you. Congratulations and good luck.

Clem xx