Tired of wearing the Scarlet Letter.....

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tired of wearing the Scarlet Letter.....
23
Fri, 07-27-2007 - 12:19pm

I am getting so tired of OLD. These people are just groess and I don't find anyone that I feel compatible too. NOT to mention the last guys I dated were just not what I really needed. I could get a date in seconds. I get about half a dozen hits from Match.com now and I've been on POF for about 3 days and I have over a hundred emails. OBVIOUSLY, it's not a problem. HOWEVER, they are NASTY AND I really need to ask a question that is starting to REALLY grate on me now.
But dating in general is getting very frustrating. It always has since the divorce of my X husband. And here is why for those that don't know:

I have two children from two different fathers. My question that I need advise on is:
Do I have to tell anyone that when I am dating them? I don't want anyone to know, because EVERYONE treats me like a piece of scum without even knowing the full background or story. AND then THEY look at me as if I am LYING! As if I got pregnant on purpose both times. No, one was not planned, but that was the doctors fault not mine. He gave me a different prescription pill. I can only take a certain kind. I can't even take the patch. And the second one WAS planned, so we both decided to stop contraception but my X changed his mind once I got pregnant and told me to either get an abortion or get a divorce.

Do I have to mention it to anyone and if I do, when do I HAVE to do it? It just makes me feel like I am lieing when they ask if the children are in Europe with their Dad, etc. But, I can't stand the amount of eject buttons I get the second I mention it. I know those wouldn't be the right people for me, but I am not much better. When a guy tells me the same thing, I am quite judgemental. Is it any different from a guy verses a girl to have more children from different partners? So what do I do?

I know I am tired of dating anyway, so I don't care at this point. I miss Jesus Sandals all the time, talk to him daily and he knows me for me, but I know in the beginning before he got to KNOW me, he was just as judgemental. I don't want to be looked like as a floozy and I want to quit feeling like I have to forever pay for having my beautiful children by wearing this darn scarlet letter.

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 4:13pm
The magic dust is really confetti I am throwing at you! Fantastic post loony! Really awesome. So insightful and really gets us to think more about the whole topic of judgements, preferences, values and decisions and paths that we take. Love it!
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 4:15pm

Thank you everyone! I LOVED the emails, the thoughts behind each post and everyone's own story. Terrific stuff! Just one of the many reasons I love you all so much!

Hugs,
Cat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 5:16pm

thanks for the confetti...

so you really do read my post...lol... But seriously, glad to pass along what I've learned from the "hard knocks of life"... And it was great for me to recall that topic, too.

Love to ALL,

Loonybunny

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