Tonight's date

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tonight's date
25
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 1:05am

So tonight is Date #2 with the Cindy, 48 yr old teacher-librarian. we had sushi. She comes across as direct, self assured, inquisitive, and open. I really enjoyed her. I like that she runs. She ran a couple of marathons. I told her that she looked attractive. And after she revealed how she is learning to be more self aware, I told her that was huge in having me thinking her as more attractive.

She asked me about my other dates. I told her about Jane and Lynn. She said she would like Jane. I told her how almost every woman I dated I would want to be friends with but did not have the energy or the time. Cindy was looking for more single woman friends.

I asked her about who she is dating. She said five but all of whom she won't be dating anymore. So I guess that leaves me. She told me that she likes me. I told her the same. She also said that this is an exploration and encourages me to continue to date the others. So I like that. I am not use to dating more than one woman. I tend to like one and just jump in with both feet. I also like that I can be upfront and honest with her about the other women and visa versa with her. For me this is relationship Gold - the direct, honest, up front communication especially for the "hard" topics.

What I liked about her is her vulnerable honesty or frank honesty. She told me how she is lonely. So when I said she comes across as self assured, the fact she revealed that she gets lonely does not detract from that perception.

She also told me that she wants to read "Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships" by David Schnarch after I told her that was one of my relationship "bibles." She likes John Gottman which I have not read but heard of. What I liked about why she said she wanted to read it because I told her how Schnarch relates how our sexual interactions with our partner is a metaphor of the state of the relationship and reveals how we feel and are with ourselves. So that tells me that she is interested in sex.

In fact she asked me directly if I liked women. Which took me aback. Apparently she is dating a guy who is asexual. I said DAMN, you don't know how much I LIKE women. I did not want to go to the sexual explicit wording because I was not sure how appropriate that would be. She did say that he kissed like how a grandmother kisses. So at the end of the date I asked for a kiss. She thought I kissed nice. I told her I guess I passed that test. SCORE!

She wants to see me again but not sure when for she'll be traveling up to Seattle to she her granddaughter. So sometime next week.

She is in the running to invite to come with me to see the B-52s in two weeks which BTW CNDG is going with her DD12. Part of me wants to show up with a date to show her up. That is my shadow self though for I know she only wants the best for me.

Tomorrow night I got a dinner with Jane, the 51 yo social worker and afterwards a comedy club. My co-worker has free tickets. She is funny, quick, talkative, and intelligent. I am a bit off putting that she talks a lot and does not really engage me in a conversation.

Saturday night I got dinner and Latin jazz with Lynn, 56 yo nurse. She is the hottest looking one and wants to be able to connect with others better but I'm struggling a bit to feel that openness from her so the attraction is not as great as with Cindy. I'll see if we can let loose with the music. Anyone who is free enough with themselves to boogie out in public is a plus for me.

And oh BTW, I got a call from a 59 yo widow of 4 yrs that contacted me off Match and said she was going to call but never did. Now she did. No picture on the profile but the conversation was good. We're going to have a Sunday coffee.

Mark so thinks he must be doing something right to be attracting a plethora of attractive and open women





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 7:43am

Mark, loneliness is a human trait that we all have, not just the ones who are not self assured. She can certainly be both. If she's a marathon runner then she's a keeper! But I'm a runner too so I am biased. Dump the other women immediately and stick with the runner. Hahaha.

Being able to talk about the hard stuff on the first date is a huge plus! If you're self assured enough to talk about that stuff right away then you're doing great.

The one who talks alot and doesn't engage you in conversation has a big red flag. Thats a sign of a personality disorder. But its just one sign. So be careful there.

You're quite the social butterfly this week. Have fun. Wish I had half the number of dates you do. But I am too afraid to use an internet dating site. Met too many weird ones online and don't want to go back there again.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 8:33am
Mark, that all sounds great!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 8:34am

It's Raining WOMEN!!! lol


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:18am

Wow Mark! Im so happy you are out there enjoying all these lovely women!

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:28am

Liz, you have first dibs to come with me to the B-52s then. Just let me know before I find someone else ;-).

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:31am
My goodness..you are a busy guy! Glad you had a great time!!

~~Tiny


I want

~Karen
˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡&#1244
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:33am

Raining indeed. Here in the Northwest it does not really stop raining until Fourth of July.

A friend of mine asks me if I keep my stories straight. I told her that I use to keep notes in order to remember stuff about them like their children's names, whether they have dog, etc. Now I just tell them I forget (which I do). I stopped keeping notes because the relationships usually did not last beyond a couple of dates. Hopefully this won't be the case for Cindy? or...?

Mark who feels that his life is really being enriched... wow what a change from last week's big heart pain.

Actually I think having the flu and how my heart hurt so bad last week has opened up my heart, had me more aware of it, have me feel it more to bring these women into my life.





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:39am

I hope that is the case about CNDG being a distant memory. I hate to compare people but it struck me when I went to dinner with Pam, the 43 yr old mountain climber and Cindy, they both paid or wanted to pay. Jane wanted to pay her share as well. I told her that I invited her and it was OK. She asked if I was insulted. Heck no! She's going to treat tonight (I think).

CNDG never did and she did at one point said that she did not know how dating worked since she had been married for 12 yrs. I told her that it was up to her and her comfort level. CNDG is a single mom and working at an hourly wage job so that I paid all the time did not bother me.

But it does make a difference on what things I would want to go to if I have to always pay for two.

Mark who has a mortgage and a DS18 in a $41K/yr college





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:44am
Wow, I like the sounds of Cindy.
 
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:48am

For me since I'm a non-custodial parent, I only have my DD15 once a week for half weekends (Fri night-Sat day) so I have every evening free. If I had my choice I would rather have my DD15 live with me and work around when I can date.

So I have a lot of "empty" time. Most of the time I was working out at the end of the day so I would have less alone time when I got home and then be too tired to care that I was alone LOL. I don't have a TV (this board is my TV) so I wanted to fill up my time with something productive. At least I looked good when I was alone LOL.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







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