Tonight's date

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tonight's date
25
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 1:05am

So tonight is Date #2 with the Cindy, 48 yr old teacher-librarian. we had sushi. She comes across as direct, self assured, inquisitive, and open. I really enjoyed her. I like that she runs. She ran a couple of marathons. I told her that she looked attractive. And after she revealed how she is learning to be more self aware, I told her that was huge in having me thinking her as more attractive.

She asked me about my other dates. I told her about Jane and Lynn. She said she would like Jane. I told her how almost every woman I dated I would want to be friends with but did not have the energy or the time. Cindy was looking for more single woman friends.

I asked her about who she is dating. She said five but all of whom she won't be dating anymore. So I guess that leaves me. She told me that she likes me. I told her the same. She also said that this is an exploration and encourages me to continue to date the others. So I like that. I am not use to dating more than one woman. I tend to like one and just jump in with both feet. I also like that I can be upfront and honest with her about the other women and visa versa with her. For me this is relationship Gold - the direct, honest, up front communication especially for the "hard" topics.

What I liked about her is her vulnerable honesty or frank honesty. She told me how she is lonely. So when I said she comes across as self assured, the fact she revealed that she gets lonely does not detract from that perception.

She also told me that she wants to read "Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships" by David Schnarch after I told her that was one of my relationship "bibles." She likes John Gottman which I have not read but heard of. What I liked about why she said she wanted to read it because I told her how Schnarch relates how our sexual interactions with our partner is a metaphor of the state of the relationship and reveals how we feel and are with ourselves. So that tells me that she is interested in sex.

In fact she asked me directly if I liked women. Which took me aback. Apparently she is dating a guy who is asexual. I said DAMN, you don't know how much I LIKE women. I did not want to go to the sexual explicit wording because I was not sure how appropriate that would be. She did say that he kissed like how a grandmother kisses. So at the end of the date I asked for a kiss. She thought I kissed nice. I told her I guess I passed that test. SCORE!

She wants to see me again but not sure when for she'll be traveling up to Seattle to she her granddaughter. So sometime next week.

She is in the running to invite to come with me to see the B-52s in two weeks which BTW CNDG is going with her DD12. Part of me wants to show up with a date to show her up. That is my shadow self though for I know she only wants the best for me.

Tomorrow night I got a dinner with Jane, the 51 yo social worker and afterwards a comedy club. My co-worker has free tickets. She is funny, quick, talkative, and intelligent. I am a bit off putting that she talks a lot and does not really engage me in a conversation.

Saturday night I got dinner and Latin jazz with Lynn, 56 yo nurse. She is the hottest looking one and wants to be able to connect with others better but I'm struggling a bit to feel that openness from her so the attraction is not as great as with Cindy. I'll see if we can let loose with the music. Anyone who is free enough with themselves to boogie out in public is a plus for me.

And oh BTW, I got a call from a 59 yo widow of 4 yrs that contacted me off Match and said she was going to call but never did. Now she did. No picture on the profile but the conversation was good. We're going to have a Sunday coffee.

Mark so thinks he must be doing something right to be attracting a plethora of attractive and open women





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 1:36pm

When I shared about my son not returning my calls once he went away to college, she first asked if she could tell me her opinion or more accurately what I should do.


What I appreciated was that she first ASKED me then told me lol!

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 2:01pm

I'm not a "fixer" for I don't look to rescue people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 2:17pm

What I appreciated was that she first ASKED me then told me lol!

The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 5:49pm

I personally think it is a good sign that the woman wants to pay or insists on paying or sharing during the first few dates. Sometimes it is a good barometer on how "really" interested she is in doing activities with you and not just go on and on only to tell you one fine day that "it doesnt seem right" and now she has to date someone else.


Others may have different opinion. I personally could not let a guy pay for me for an expensive dinner unless there is something going on between us. During our first few dates I insisted on sharing the expense with Biker since we used to work together and were awkward about whether or not it is a date.. later on when we were "together" ( we never talked about exclusivity or love.. it just happened and we knew) Biker stared paying for most stuff.. while I treat him occasionally- like I took him to a really nice sushi place on his B'day or I get him a really nice gift..


On another note women have more expenses in terms on going on dates - as in buying nices clothes ;-) , shoes and so on.. so it is kind of okay if yoy pay for them and if you really want to be with them. Hey but they can always use those items on dates with other men too..lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
In reply to: mhash
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 9:52pm

I don't have a TV (this board is my TV) - phew I

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

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