too clingy vs too distant
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too clingy vs too distant
| Fri, 01-02-2009 - 2:47pm |
opinion on this topic welcome.
what is too clingly and what it too distant? i feel slightly confused on this.... if i contact MM everyday to just say hello... is that too clingy? probably not. If i need some sort of validation everyday.. yes, that's prob too clingy. If i don't say hello (via one of these: email, text or phone call) all day.. is that too distant?

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Well, this is a hard one.
thanks. i did
I don't believe in setting a standard of what is "too."
thanks Mark.
for some reason i thought.. bringing up the conversation about clingyness would come across as clingy.. i'm such a goof sometimes.
i think i have a idea... for MM's birthday.. i'm going to buy massage oil (i can give a very good back rub).... then while i'm giving him a back rub, i can ask or talk about anything i want right... what i mean is that it won't be threatening sort of conversation that way....
either way, i think the back rub idea is a good one!
Loony
Too worrisome if you ask me. Sorry.
No its not too distant if you dont contact him for a day or two. Its not too clingy to contact him each day. I say go with how you feel. If you want to contact him often then do so. A quick hello shouldnt annoy anyone. I day without a quick hello shouldnt annoy him either.
Dont always wait for him to suggest something to do. I had to do that in my marriage and it got old. I got tired of always being the one who suggested things and planned things. If it werent for me we would have done nothing. If theres something you want to do then suggest it. Or better yet surprise him with tickets to an event you both would like.
But dont worry so much.
nuf said
Amen on always having to be the one to plan stuff otherwise you'd do nothing! I can SOOO relate...BTDT with my marriage also. I don't want to be controlled, but I do want a man who can take the reins sometimes. I'd say most men might feel that way too.
Don't overthink this one Looney. You guys seem to be in a good place. Enjoy it!
ha ha ha... ya caught that.. i was trying everything NOT to use the word worry.
i'm going to call an old friend of mine... tried to call today but then the children didn't give me a chance to talk to her. She's definatly been where i've been..... getting over the fears. She's recently got married after 7 years of being a single mom.. so she's further along in her journey and we've always been able to relate. I feel she's a good, safe person to help me process my feelings and get my thinking on track.
I had moments today when things felt clear. My joy comes from within and NOT from another person. ya, i know, it is exhausting to think soooo much... and winter is NOT my favorite season. I like bright warm days.... not cold days.
so, yes, i'll go back to making a suggestion here and there.... thanks for that advice. Like on Friday,
Hey
Loony- I wanted to reply to you y'day but then got busy, blah blah and am just online now.
Anyway, y'day I was having the same questions as you b/c I haven't heard
it is so good knowing that i'm not alone. don't know why i'm having such a hard time.
got in touch with my friend. she told me about taking every thought captive. about stopping those negative thoughts before they consume me.
at 5pm today, after thinking about MM all day and wondering why i hadn't heard from him, i sent a "hello" text. he said he was watching a movie. at first i figured a dvd but then i realized the movie is a new one. started thinking he went
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