Totally lost it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Totally lost it!
49
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 9:38am

OK so an update on me...selfish yes. I have only been lurking lately and im feeling guilty about it. I have been keeping up with everyone and even the new faces but have not had the umpf to post since i dont want to come off as negative even if its not meant to be. Am i making sense or rambling? Im freakin lost and feel like the ship is taking on water by the bucket loads...so take a breath and sit back if your up for some more 'woe is me crap' from yours truly.


1. The prince and I (im now going to refer to him as FP for all future postings - frog prince and i think you will see why). We have been really cooling off in a major way. Im so beyond annoyed with him. We dont talk..not two words. Hes a mute and its exhausting. He says he doesnt want to say the wrong things. I know i snap at him but its usually over DD. He gets her really wound up and crazy when they play. She plays hard and she end sup jumping off furniture and hurling herself into him and while they are playing. Yes its great that she plays with him HOWEVER when i need some pack up with rules there is none and then he pouts like hes in a time out as well. Infuriating really. We went to the zoo dinner and we literally said two words the

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 10:27am

im just over it!!!!!


No, you're not over it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 10:29am

(((((M))))))....you my friend are having a bad few days.

Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 10:51am

I know you are right....i

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 10:57am

thanks rose...i called my atty and he said nope...its his day. He said he could send a letter requesting that CP be there for pu and dropoff but honestly he cant make him be a pariticipating parent...hes a crap dad and thats it


On the FP front...i cant even be bothered with trying to work on that relationship. And as far as 'daddy role' its more of a playmate role. He doesnt do any type of parenting. Hes 44 and has no kids of his own, nver wanted kids and had the b@lls last week to tell me on the phone she should be potty trained by now. Shes smart and she knows whats shes doing...Well let me tell you Momma bear came out full on...not in a mean way but a "i know youve never had children but shes ONLY 2 and its not going to happen overnight...and if i push it it will only prolong it and be a fight..instead of being a natural progression" he said i was wrong....grrrrrrrr

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 11:04am

Oh honey ((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

Sounds like you should end things with FP and take some time on your own to regroup, maybe get some therapy to help you get through the grief of all of this.

Also wanted to point out that CP is NOT over you and moving on with his life, because if he was, then he wouldn't be bothering you so much. He's a manipulative guy and he knows how to push your buttons and he's getting something in return for it right now. Regroup yourself and get a hold of your emotions so that you can hold BACK your reactions to him and TBH. Until they stop getting a rise out of you, they will continue to seek one- that's ALL they have in common right now and they will hold onto that!

Finally- don't call your mom to vent. Haha-- just had to add that in there. I know it feels like there isn't a lot of support in your life, but you would do much better not to involve her in the drama, because as you KNOW, she will only add fuel to that fire long after you've walked away from the smoldering embers...

You are a strong woman and going through a lot. Let yourself take TIME for yourself TO deal with everything.




Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 11:17am
I can't add much to Soonee and Alison's posts except to say you need to stop letting them have so much control over your life, emotions and happiness. You have the strength and power to change things. You just have to use it!
Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 11:30am

((((((((((((Mom-Star))))))))))))


I have to agree with the ladies who say you're not "over it"... because everything CP does still riles you up alot. If you were truly past it, you would be SO very indifferent to their actions and words.


My ex still does some very nutty things, but I just roll my eyes (not when he can see it though) and ignore him. As long as he isn't truly endangering the kids, he can be as nutty as he wants. Poor

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 11:33am

Ahhhh, girlie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 11:44am

Your lawyer is right (of course) his time is his time!

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 06-25-2008 - 12:54pm

Oh dear - that sounds like a bad day with a cherry on top.

I echo the other's sentiments. I think you are still too tied to CP's actions - they throw you over the edge - and it is understandable because it has all been too much and he has been pulling every string he possibly can.

I do not think a man or dating is going to fix this. YOu are going to have to work on doing something else to get your mind off of it and becoming a whole person so you have a good package and an all you can be attitude. The prince is clearly too much for you - he is always annoying and like another child. While the attention was delightful he has worn out his welcome.

If your lawyer says it is CP's day then so be it - you can't fight that legally - so you have to be nicer to his gf - because she did take care of your kid all day - being mean is not going to help your kid. And I can't imagine that having to deal with someone else's 2 year old all day is easy. I think you have to stick to the legal plan - unless it is not workable then fix it. But get it down to where it is fair and then move on. Rehashing is not good for you or DD or the bank.

I think you need me time and to try to minimize time with CP or his GF. I would not give him a picture or anything you expect him to say thank you for. Just be civil and that is it.

This will get better in time - you just need time and to find something else to do. I am sorry you feel so frustrated. But as the others say you know you are causing part of that. Maybe you will see things more clearly after this thread - we are really trying to help. It would be easier to just type "poor baby have some chocolate" but you are nice and funny and we really care. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!! You will get there!! Faster than you think - you just have to allow that!!

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