Totally lost it!
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| Wed, 06-25-2008 - 9:38am |
OK so an update on me...selfish yes. I have only been lurking lately and im feeling guilty about it. I have been keeping up with everyone and even the new faces but have not had the umpf to post since i dont want to come off as negative even if its not meant to be. Am i making sense or rambling? Im freakin lost and feel like the ship is taking on water by the bucket loads...so take a breath and sit back if your up for some more 'woe is me crap' from yours truly.
1. The prince and I (im now going to refer to him as FP for all future postings - frog prince and i think you will see why). We have been really cooling off in a major way. Im so beyond annoyed with him. We dont talk..not two words. Hes a mute and its exhausting. He says he doesnt want to say the wrong things. I know i snap at him but its usually over DD. He gets her really wound up and crazy when they play. She plays hard and she end sup jumping off furniture and hurling herself into him and while they are playing. Yes its great that she plays with him HOWEVER when i need some pack up with rules there is none and then he pouts like hes in a time out as well. Infuriating really. We went to the zoo dinner and we literally said two words the

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--"You know, my heart grew big enough so that I could love you both the same." and he said "K's heart is just as big as yours because she is going to have 2 kids when the baby is born." and I replied "No, K's heart is bigger than mine because she has you in her life."
Drammy Moon....you always bring tears to my eyes...
M- a big fan of Moon the duck whisperer!!
Personally, I think that when the person (step mom, TBH, SKANK, whatever) is the one who cheated with our husbands, we feel differently than if we had divorced and THEN they moved on.
"Personally, I think that when the person (step mom, TBH, SKANK, whatever) is the one who cheated with our husbands, we feel differently than if we had divorced and THEN they moved on. There is something about that - the total disrespect that person had for our lives, our relationships, to step in and make sure we were pushed to the side. If they are willing to do that, honestly, what kind of caregiver can they be?"
VERY TRUE!!!!!! And well said. You and QB bring a whole new depth of knowledge and different angle to this story. And I feel that is important!
I find it despicable that someone would intentionally break up a family - and then push the mom to the side. I would NEVER do that.
I remember a blog of a poster from another parenting board - she had the sweetest prayer - asking for another set of eyes for her nest - but not if it meant that another woman had to go. And I always loved that saying.
I am so sorry for all of you who had to endure this!! It is like it adds one more dimension or one more level of pain to an already bad situation. It really does.
Yes, Mom Lil' star, I know exactly what you are talking about. It will get less painful if you try to remember you are better off without CP- and you are. Any guy who is dumb enough to fall for one of these manipulative wench's is quite frankly not worth your time. In my case, OW is my same age. And yes, she did all the same things: hit redial on his phone so it would call me during their dates, call and leave a message on his cell when she knew he'd be home and I'd be likely to see the caller ID- which was a term of endearment in Spanish, flaunt her relationship at work with the other employees(man, did those people hate her). She did not care about what would happen to our sons, even though she knew them. And she does this repeatedly- my X will be her 4th husband, if she can manipulate him into marriage. I really have let the past go, afterall, they do deserve one another, it is the constant lack of respect in the present that still irritates me. And protecting my D4, who I chose to have. I take personal responsibility very seriously, D4 is my responsibility and I agree, if ANYTHING bad happens to her in OW's care, my wrath will know no bounds.
QB
Moon,
You always see the gist of the situation. Yes, the OW factor makes a huge difference. For someone to actually target one's life for destruction really takes a special kind of evil. But I am better off without PB. I try to see the good that giving my kids a break from their self-destructive father does for my kids. As I have stated before S19 refuses to have anything to do with the guy and absolutely hates the OW.He needs to work on that for it is destructive to his own psyche. S17 won't do much w/OW. He has to negotiate the situation in order to maintain some kind of relationship with his father, but at least PsychoBoy has stopped the forced family blending with S17.
I try not to dwell on the past. I realize PB has an untreatable mental illness, he does not think like the rest of us. All I can do is try to live my life as it is now with grace. Just when things escalate,sometimes I just need to vent somewhere- and this thread really struck a nerve.
QB
QB-
God what a manipulative "woman" your ex is with. I am always in shock as to how a grown woman caould ever step into a man's life who is married and ESPECIALLY one with children. There just is NO justification for it. Its like she (and CP's plaything) have no conscience about how it will make the kids feel. None.
I know that people would say everyone should try and "get along" for the kids sake and its true but I can only imagine this is the very hardest pill to swallow. I would be down right BITTER. All I can say is that you are a stong, incredible woman to stay as well grounded as you have.
I can't say what I would do or how I would have reacted like in M's case. I can be hot headed when comes to things like that so I'd probably take her head off and feed it to my ex on a stick. (out of the view of dd of course!)
"And she does this repeatedly- my X will be her 4th husband, if she can manipulate him into marriage."
OH WOW QB - that is like a little fortune buried in this story. For some reason I thought they WERE married. I really hope that he won't be that stupid. Because it would be nice if it didn't work and you did not have her in the picture. I wonder how much trouble she causes for feeing him stuff that leads to his confrontations with you?
That is just a crazy story - and many lessons for all of us for sure. You are kind to share all of the details here and I am glad this thread brought this out for us.
Queenie, I can SOOOO relate.
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