Transition from dating to couple?
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| Sun, 01-28-2007 - 10:26pm |
Your thoughts on this are appreciated. I am in a deliciously enjoyable relationship with a man. We have been taking things pretty slowly insofar as time commitments and heavy talk, but by his actions he has made it abundantly clear that he adores me and my son.
This weekend we did watch a m ovie at his place that was a datelike thing, but we also did chores together. It felt so good! We did a bunch of nasty repairs in my crawl space on frozen pipes, then went into the woods and got firewood, split and stacked it together. It was absolutely the most wonderful feeling of togetherness with a man that I have had since way before I had my son.
So things are moving along fine, I am happy and comfortable, but am wondering if I should be cautious and have a relationship talk with him or let it go. We see eachotehr spontaneously almost every day, we have inside jokes together, It's not all about sex, but the sex is great. He is very interested in my family, what makes me tick. All good stuff. He had me over for dinner with his Mom and Grandma. I guess my heart is already invested in him.
I don't want to be pushy or change things but I wonder if I need to talk about them to make sure they are what they semm to be...
Ubers, slightly disbelieveing her recent good fortune and enjoying meeting friends here on the Single Mom's board.

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You know, fivesense, I'm in agreement with you. My current situation could almost be the perfect example of this.
Double D and I have not had the talk, in any way, shape, or form. We've only dated a few times, yes, but there has been absolutely no mention of it going anywhere. He's wonderful company, and I always have a lot of fun when I'm with him, but I'm getting impatient with the lack of momentum our dating has had recently.
OLD-guy however, states very clearly that he wants to be in a committed relationship. He also calls just to say hi (without being needy, clingy or annoying about it), and is very open about looking forward to spending time with me. I'm trying not to place too much emphasis on OLD-guy just yet, as we haven't even met, and we may not have any chemistry at all.
However, from their preliminary actions alone, I think it is blatantly obvious that OLD-guy is more open to making room in his life, and sharing his life, with someone than Double D is, at least right now. OLD-guy would be the guy to initiate the talk very quickly, and Double D is the guy who is perfectly content to go with the flow indefinitely. I shouldn't compare them, I know, but it's almost impossible not to.
Moody, thinking in terms of apples and oranges
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Wow you guys have me shakin' in my boots!!
I think he takes things very seriously, and so he goes slowly best he can. Sometimes, honestly, I think he's cautious because he thinks he is worried about bolwing things with me, too. this could be all wishful thinking and I may be juts Ms. "Good enough for now" I sure hope not!!
He is just so sweet when I see him. He always (Unless my son is in the room) gives me a nice slow open lipped kiss first thing when he sees me. And then looks me in the eyes with a big smile. If he knows I am on my way, he waits by his window for me. awwww. If I am visiting at his house, the next thing after the kiss and warm look and smile, he is handing me his slippers as I take my shoes off because my feet get cold (hypothyroidism). Then he offers me the seat right by the wood stove and brings me coffee, water or wine and another big hug ans a smile.
I can't believe he's just going through the motions to get laid or to pass the time. He likes keeping to himself and I am certain he could get easy sex from lots of women at the university where he works if that's what he wanted. Why mess with someone with a kid who lives close by where we are both good friends with all the neighbors and a breakup could be uncomfortable?
The proximity hasn't been used for quickie sex, we have only been intimate on planned dates, so it isn't a matter of convenience.
Wow! Now I am really oevr analyzing!
Okay. Time for a pot of tea.
Ubers, now feeling totally worried :(
Uber, I know I'm all over the place here, but I think that's probably my own thoughts about my own life getting in the way.
From what you write about him, it is so obvious that this guy is into you. I don't know about you, but I don't know a whole heck of a lot of guys who help Ms-Good-Enough-For-Now with her plumbing issues and behave as sweetly as a person can. If it were a booty call, that'd be all it was. If it were a FWB situation, there'd be a whole lot less sweetness.
Don't think too much about this- enjoy it for what it is, since it sounds absolutely wonderful!!
Moody, absorbing the happiness
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