tried the police.....
Find a Conversation
tried the police.....
| Sun, 08-27-2006 - 10:42am |
I tried to file a report, but before i did i asked if i'd have to take it further and have to go to court b/c i just can't bring myself to do that, he told me i was obviously shaken up about it and that i should really think about it, that he really does think i should file it, but that's it totally up for me b/c i would have to disclose all the info and they'd have to investigate, they took down all my information and the name of the guy, and they said they haven't had any complaints in that area in a year, (don't know what kind), they gave me the name of a female cop and her number and said i can call her on monday, and why don't i take a couple days to think about it......while i was there, i had my bf wait outside b/c i haven't told him everything, i had to be in a room with 3 police officers and i've never felt scared like that....just leaving the place i had to cry....i feel like i'll never be the same, i don't want anyone to touch me, and if my bf kisses me long enough i cry, if he tries to touch me i cry, i don't know why, i told him i want to be back to normal, to the way we both felt, and i can't seem to do it, finally last nite i felt like i was all cried out, so i tried to take the lead with him, and i don't feel anything, there's no more desire no more passion, i just feel guilt, i just feel wrong, i couldn't go all the way.......i don't know how to get over it, i really want to, and all my bf could do was cry wit' me, apologizing for why he didn't go that day wit' me, saying he can't force himself on me, and that he loves me, and to take all the time i need and that he can wait, that he'll always wait b/c he'll always love me, and what i'm feeling is slowly turning into anger, because i shouldn't have to put my life on hold for what someone else did, i shouldn't have to live in fear, i shouldn't have to go thru this, my bf doesn't deserve this.....he wants to know what happened and i can't do it, i feel like if i do, how can we both forget, i love him so much and i feel like i might lose him, and i'm trying so hard to get over it but i can't

Roxanne sweetie, you sound so stressed and upset and I am worried about you. It really isn't fair that guy took advantage of you like that in a professional setting where you are supposed to trust someone to their care. I think you should try to find a counselor - do you have someone you can talk to at your church? Or a close friend? You need a shoulder. I am sure your bf is being patient and wonderful but I don't think he is the only person you should be talking to. I just googled sexual assault hotline and found a good information site at www.rainn.org
I am sure you didn't do anything to deserve this - and I wish there was something we could all do.
I think that you should talk to a few people - maybe the women police officers - before you make your decision. Give yourself a few days so you can think clearly.
I know that many areas have hotlines for women - maybe there is one near you?
You are such a strong woman! I am so proud of you. Contacting the police must have been terribly difficult and you still did it. This speaks to the strength that you have.
Defintely contact the female cop. She will be able to, at least, relate more closely to what you experienced.
You definately need to seek help for this. You will need professional help to get you through this. You are already going through some of the stages of grief-unconsolable, now anger. This is normal! You WILL get through this b/c YOU are STONG! Notice I said, get through. As much as this won't go away, you will make it though "the storm," so to speak.
Seek out professional help. They will know they best ways to help you cope.
Oh yes, one more thing. Your BF is NOT going to leave you. If anything, this may bring you closer together. He said he won't push you, he wants to only comfort you. This is one thing you shouldn't worry about. He loves you and isn't going anywhere.
Jennifer
This has NOTHING to do with what you "should or shouldnt" have done. HE was very very wrong & he NEEDS to be reported.