Trouble in Paradise

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Trouble in Paradise
25
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 8:42am

The problem is I dont even know why. I have spent a few days trying to figure out what is bothering me but I only come up with a few things. One is I am tired all the time. I am an active person and dont do well on a few hours sleep. So I told EMT that there will be no more late nights with him. I just cant do it anymore. The other issues are a little vague. One is that there are similarities in this relationship with EMT and the abusive one I got out of a while back and it scares me. EMT is NOT abusive by any means but the similarities are enough to scare me.


The other thing is I dont really want to spend time everyday with EMT. I have 3 kids, a full time job and a handful of activities that keep me really busy. I have been trying to squeeze time in with EMT but I havent had time to keep up on the house, bills and accounts and other little projects that always seem to need to be done. Its frustrating, especially with my house being for sale I like to keep it as neat and clean as possible. My yard has been covered in leaves for weeks now. ARGH.


Plus the holidays are stressing me big time. I wish I were a member of a religion that doesnt celebrate them. Its all too much for me. Hopefully after the holidays things will settle down.


Tonight EMT is coming over for dinner and all I want is to go home from work, pick up dinner and veg on the couch alone or with the kids. I had a busy weekend that I am still recovering from.


On the good news side, I took DD and her boyfriend to Boston on Sat to see the Smashing Pumpkins and have dinner at Hard Rock. Great concert. I highly recommend seeing them.


Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 2:02pm

"be great if everyone just agreed to NOT do gifts and buy buy buy? "

YES!!! I think that is the best idea. I mean who needs more junk anyhow. I would rather just hang out than have more stuff.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 2:04pm

Isnt it 7th day adventists that dont celebrate the holidays? I mean does God care if we dont buy tons of stuff?! No I dont think he does.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 2:06pm
That sucks and thats not what they are about. Impressing each other. Its awful that you cant even be with family without feeling bad.
anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 2:09pm

And that is one of the reasons why my family lives on the other side of the country. I love them but cant live near them.

My daughter used to ride her bike alone to the marina and take sailing lessons when she was about 9 years old. Granted it was on base but she was perfectly comfortable doing it. Actually she preferred it that way.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 2:11pm

It helps to have folks who have been there done that and know how it feels. It all could be because this is the first real relationship since the abusive one too. I think it takes time to get back to normal after one of those.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 2:13pm

Lack of sleep was one of those signs. My abusive one didnt care if I slept at all, as long as he got what he wanted. But EMT is different, at least I think. I have talked to him about it and he seems fine with no more late nights. THey are two minor signs and I think I need to get a copy of the book again to review them. EMT is so different. Abusive x bf's rules were universal, no one elses feelings counted. EMT at least seems to listen and care about mine.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 2:59pm
"Jehovah’s Witnesses are not allowed to celebrate Christmas, birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, or any other holidays, claiming they all have pagan roots."
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Thanks to sophie.avas.mummy for my amazing sig!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 8:34pm

I agree with the not buying stuff just for the sake of buying...


Of course my mom & sis think I'm a charity case this year since it's my first holiday season alone/going through the D...my mom said not to buy her anything and my sis & I agree to just buy for our children -- I want to buy for my nephews. So I'm pretty relieved I won't buy for sis & BIL....I love 'em, but they are 1) difficult to buy for and 2) it gets expensive. So I'll buy for my mom & nephews (and of course my 2 kids)....that's a change that works well for me.


I am going to make my sis a pretty journal, using a regular notebook and lots of decorative paper I already have from scrapbooking. She'll like that and it will be something from the heart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 9:31pm

I think it is tough to spend so much time with someone without taking care of life's normal activities.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 7:03am

Both of mine do too. One because she likes Jack skeleton the other because she just likes to be different. Neither have a stereotypical goth personality. You cant tell a persons personality by the hats they wear.

Laurie

anonymous