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| Fri, 10-03-2008 - 7:47am |
I posted a while back that Medic's ex-wife/wife works one floor up in my hospital, and a girl from my unit knows her.
Anyway... When Medic and I had our little Geneva Convention one of the things we discussed was how we wanted to keep things on the down-lo with work, and I totally agreed. Considering we didn't even meet at work.. everything was just a little to close in "my playground" ya know? I mean all anyone knew was that I was dating a Medic.. thats it, not even a name! And this was just a few friends on my unit.
OMG it has now exploded into something I'm very very uncomfortable with. So my one friend who knows his ex asked about him today and I said yah we're trying to see eachother again, see how things go. Two sets of ears perk up and they say oh you're back with your Medic? I was like umm yah. So the girl that knows the ex-wife goes on to say "Actually I know his WIFE because he's still married" then more ears perk up.. you're dating a married man? I was like wow umm they've been separated for over a year, and in

Ay, ay, ay...what a mess. I would be mortified. Who is this person who says they are trying to get back together? Is it someone who is just trying to bust your chops?
I think due to the closeness of your work situation, and that gossip flies faster than the Concord, you MUST talk to him. Being on the DL in such a situation can be really hard. Try to be cool about it, avoid the gossips for a while, see if the dust settles.
I would have a stomach ache in this situation.
He does know about the original girl who recognized him and knows his ex. He also knows that all I ever said was that I'm dating a Medic.
**nobody said anything about him getting back with his ex. just the one girl kept calling her his "wife"**
I mean.. I have pride in who I date, and I like to share info with girlfriends and such, I mean not details or anything. But when asked what I'm doing this weekend I like to be able to say I'm spending it with my Medic and have a big smile on my face because HE put it there ya know? I mean dosn't everyone feel that way when they're dating someone that they really like and makes them feel great? So yah I don't feel like I did anything wrong.
But then again on the flip side of this.. can I not have my "boyfriend" attend functions with me? Like people from the ED get together to see this local band on occasion, and there is a big halloween party someone is throwing. Am I never going to be able to do things like this with him just because of avoiding rumors and gossip? I don't like it :( I'm not going to stop seeing him because of it or anything.. but I think at some point if this continues we're just going to have to suck it up and let the rumors fly.
Also I sense some kind of fear of his ex-wife. I don't know the whole story, and I'm not going to pry. All I know is that they fought a lot. For all I know they could still be fighting and he's just trying to avoid more grief. Thats the vibe I get actually.
That sucks. & being a nurse & working in a hospital environment, I know how people can latch onto gossip like that. You have NO reason to be worried about the fact you are seeing him - you have every right, no matter who his X is , or where she works.
I think you DO need to have another chat w/ medic & tell him everything you heard. It sounds as if its bound to get back to him & you dont want that, w/o your input.
I think you need to tell him what happened, in no way was it your fault.
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Tracy
I think you should let him know what happened and how you handled it. It's important that he be kept in the loop with this, otherwise he WILL be blindsided by someone who says, "so, Michele tells me..." and you don't need THAT!
I so hate the grapevine. Thats why nothing personal about me gets told to the guys at work. I work with all older men who have stable boring lives and like to talk about interesting things. So I just dont tell them anything. I am not that close to them anyhow. The two I talked to moved to other airports.
That gossip thing was going around here for a bit this summer. I refused to participate. I just let it fall on deaf ears and didnt spread any more. It was then that I decided that my personal life was going to stay personal. I talk about the kids and my running and soccer team but thats about it.
Just dont bring up Medic anymore and make it known that the subject is off limits. They will get the hint. Awful thing for coworkers to do, talk like that. If it comes up again just let them know that too much got said and that it is a non subject from now on. You need your privacy and it would most likely get spread around the building too. Thats not what you want.
Laurie
OMG do I know what you're going through!!!!