TRUST

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
TRUST
8
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 7:01pm

BE has a PAST. He was once a bad boy (years before we met) and cheated on a girlfriend. And it happened at "Fiesta", our town's big annual to-do.


He was dating who he describes a nice woman, E,

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 8:53pm

Pac, how long ago was the affair on this other woman?

You should understand that the circumstances are different, he's older now, he's (hopefully) moved past that way of thinking and he's happy with you. While past behaviour can predict future behaviour, that's not always the case... circumstances change.

You trust him, he knows that. Maybe ask him if he could give you a call when he gets in at night so you know he's home safely- that you don't want to be worried. With the way things are going, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to oblige :)

The boy

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2008
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 10:25pm

I like alison's idea of having him call you when he gets home. I'm sure that he will be happy to do so. I realize that trust can be hard to come by but tif you think of it this way...he hasn't do anything to lose your trust, he was just a stupid boy. I'm sure if he says that he has found the one in you then he really does mean it.


JL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 07-30-2008 - 10:33pm

"Maybe ask him if he could give you a call when he gets in at night so you know he's home safely- that you don't want to be worried. With the way things are going, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to oblige :)"

That is a great idea Alison! I wonder if he really has a good time there anyway - I bet he does not - keep us posted pacsun - and enjoy the evening with DD!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 10:18am

Pac,


These feelings have to suck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 10:37am

I'll validate your worries and maybe help get to the root of them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 12:02pm

Thanks everyone. I've come a long way with BE so the feeling is at least much more solid than I would have felt a year ago. I trust him, but still have to battle my own inner demons with trust, KWIM?


I think I will ask him to call when he gets home. He probably would anyway though. We talk every night so if he didn't that would be unusual anyway. I was pleasantly suprised that he did not even want to go last night. He will go Friday probably.


Athank you guys for listening. Sometimes I just have to get the feelings out there even when I know I can trust my gut. And this time my gut is saying "it's ok, he loves you, he's not going anywhere".


I've got LOTS to do Friday anyway! I kind of look forward to getting things done. I no longer feel we are attached at the hip and that is actually a more secure feeling...a feeling of freedom between us in a way.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 12:07pm

Hey moon :o)


It's true- he actually TALKS about the past and admits it was bad. He assures me all of the time, sometimes I just feel insane with my thinking about his past. I do think he has changed- he has grown up

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Thu, 07-31-2008 - 12:11pm

Thanks for your kindness as always and your reassurance. Love you!!


Back atch sista!!!!!