Trust Milestone

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2009
Trust Milestone
5
Sun, 07-11-2010 - 7:39pm

I have survived a weekend I was dreading big time!


My fiance, whom I have some trust issues that I am working through becuase of things that took place last year when I was pregnant, went away for the weekend to the beach with a buddy from work. I knew it was coming, and because of how well things have been with us, I was trying to keep my negative thoughts at bay, give him the benefit of the doubt that he is NOT going there to hook up with anyone women, go to strip clubs with his pig of a friend (who cheats on his wife), etc. The first day of the trip, I was ok and we texted/talked multpile times, etc.


Last night, I started to let my sometimes craziness get to me. I started imagining all of the things he COULD be doing that I'd never know about... I even had a nasty text message typed out about how I KNOW he was hanging out with girls... and then I remembered that I chose to be with him in spite of the past, and I have to let it go and let him regain my trust. I deleted the text message and ironically he called a few minutes later saying he missed me and that he was having fun but its definitely a downer not seeing me and Gi all weekend.


So, I could hvae given in to my insecurities and started a pointless war, and I'm glad to say I bit it back and let my man enjoy his time away that he rarely gets :) I trust him that he is not looking for anything except a relaxing time away with a friend. This was really the first time he was away in a situation that he could have done any thing he wanted and Id never know, so I consider it amilestone that we got thru it unscathed!

My girl

My girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sun, 07-11-2010 - 9:25pm
Wow Tara!!!! I am SO proud of you!!! Look at how much better your weekend went without you giving in that negative inner voice!!!!

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Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2009
Sun, 07-11-2010 - 9:38pm
I know... seriously... the message I had typed out was NASTY and totally undeserved. I'm really glad I didnt send it! The only negative is I really wanted to get away and do something fun with Gigi so I wasn't sitting home stewing and I took her to the Philadelphia zoo in VERY hot weather, and ended up with a nasty migraine. She liked it a little bit but it was way too hot. Yikes.

My girl

My girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sun, 07-11-2010 - 9:45pm

Aww... too bad the zoo was too hot!

I think looking at what response you would have been looking for had you sent him the nasty text is a good evaluator here. Were you *hoping* that he would come back with a million SWEET reassurances, therefore reiterating to yourself that everything is fine? Or would you have wanted him to send a nasty one back? TRULY: what response would you have hoped for?

Without sending him that text, he surprised you with sweetness. Remember THAT the next time you have venom in your blood boiling.


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Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 11:19am
That is awesome!!!

Marie

Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2010
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 1:44pm

Great post. I'm proud of you.LOL
Every time you resist the urge to do something harebrained and out there emotional, you get stronger and more in control of your own emotions. The next time it will be easier to resist that temptation to say something you know would be unfair and only cause drama. Alison makes a good point. What were you expecting as a response, because you can learn a lot about yourself answering that one truthfully- not on here per se, but to yourself.

QB