Trying to get rid of the lonely bug...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Trying to get rid of the lonely bug...
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Tue, 07-22-2008 - 12:10am

Anyone sit their and think about HOW many people you can call just so you

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 12:54am

"but because I just want to meet other people and stay away from anyone at those places."

Do you want to meet People or Guys?

Cat, are you looking for JUST friends or another potential man? I think that's where you have to start... by figuring out if you're lonely for friends or a man.

I know the meetup groups are a good source of meeting people, but it sounds to me like you're too focused (not saying it's a bad thing) on meeting a man that you're losing yourself in it all. Especially with the disappointment of yet another guy and I could see you being in a slump.

You are an amazing woman, full of energy and light- do not keep yourself out of the sun too long, you're denying a lot of people the real you when you sit in the shadows. Focus on getting your house done in time for the girls to come home, ask some gf's to come over and help- pull out a bottle of wine and some snacks and enjoy the night!

The girls will be home soon enough and you'll have the hectic mom-life back, so try to enjoy the peace of a break from the routine grind.

(((((((((HUGS))))))))

"Admire what you DO have, and stop asking for what you don't." Ds-age 8




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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 1:06am

Ok, let me rephrase the word "people" to women, like yourselves that I don't have to be around any men. Believe me, I really liked this guy, BUT, big BUT, I wasn't ready for a relationship. I saw that. I just wanted to see where it might go and it didn't anywhere. Had he asked me to be in a relationship, I wouldn't have because I made it clear as well, I didn't want one, at least not now. I was open for later possibly, but not now. I just wanted to date him, not be his FWB and not be in a relationship. Do I want companionship? Yes, but not the feeling of a guy a night or needing a date with a guy. This just time and time again becomes toooo complicating. I have a few girlfriends, but one is so focused on her husband and family, the other one on her fiance, the other one on her fiance and kids and the other one just on trying to get through school and kids. They never ever have any time and it's my summer. IN a few weeks my kids will be here and I just want to enjoy it while I can. I can't even get them over here right now, because I have no where to sit until I get my couch. My firepit isn't ready and if i go to them, they have the hubby, fiance, kids or parents listening in on us. My neighbor is off camping for two weeks. I'm just going stir crazy and I don't want a date. I could go OLD if I wanted that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 11:00am

I think we all go through the lonely bug when our kids are not here - I know I have had to tackle that demon many times on weekend nights when I had nothing to do and DS is not here. And for you it must be hard because you do have your girls 24/7 and then all of a sudden nothing. I think it is harder when we are older because most women are busy with families.

Your house is sounding good though - that is such a big and great step for you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 12:59pm

Oh I hate the lonely bug!!!

JH

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 1:48pm
I was kind of like that this weekend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 2:00pm

I had the bug bad last weekend, and still having it. My kids were away last weekend with their dad (seldom happens). Current flame invited me over on Friday (sleep-over, yay, fun), so that killed the lonelies for that night. But Saturday night near killed me. I adore current flame, but we aren't at the "non-stop" together stage, which is good, but made for a loonnnggg Saturday night. (Ironically, his kid is away this week, and he admitted to the lonelies on Saturday night...so I guess guys get it too.)

Then my little girl (who is attached to me, despite being 13)went yesterday to stay with a friend of mine for a week, and by 4, I was already feeling the lonelies. Luckily, current flame texted me and asked me to come see him. Lifesaver. But now it is Tuesday, baby girl is gone, I just got home from work and don't know what to do with myself. Looking at Weds, Thurs as more of the same.

To sum it up, I spent so much time when I was married focused on my kids and "protecting" them from their Dad's nonsense that I spent NO time doing things I enjoy. I don't know what to do when I am alone. I love to read, but got in the habit of not doing it because their was always something else more important to do. Same thing with my art work.

As moms, I think we all do it - putting the kids first. Then they don't need us so much and we are thrown for a loop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 2:04pm
Plus we're so used to multitasking everything and without kids around everything gets done so quickly.
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 4:33pm

Yeah, I call my kids in Europe WAYYY to much, just to hear their voices. Again, I am actually quite happy and content being alone without a flame. I have been feeling so tired and ill lately that I can't even think about

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 5:17pm

I think that hanging with my girlfriends is the perfect antidote to feeling lonely. Sadly, they all live 5 hours away, so I only get to do it every other month or so. If I were closer, I probably wouldn't feel like a want a man around so much.

Sometimes I am not sure if I want a boyfriend or just a friend.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 5:22pm
I

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