Two Apologies
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| Thu, 09-09-2004 - 2:22pm |
As for the EXBF, that was a complete surprise. I never expected to hear from him again, and I certainly didn't expect an apology. He apologized for the way he treated me in breaking dates and not calling me. He explained his whole drama story about his work and his family. He said when he gets under pressure like that, he hides in a cave and doesn't want to talk to anyone. And although I am glad that I finally understand what was going on, I don't trust him either. Of course, he promised to call me again and he promised to make time to see me. (Keep dreaming Alice). He said we would be "life-long friends". When I asked him whether we would be any more that than, he said he didn't know because he was "confused". Same old song and dance. As far as I'm concerned, he can drawl back in that cave and stay there.
That is why I'm so cynical -- every man I have EVER met has turned out to be a BIG JERK. At the risk of sounding like a jerk myself, I have to admit something. I have a date on Saturday with the older guy I posted about before. He's called me several times during the past two weeks since we made the date. He is really looking forward to it and he sounds really excited about it. I am completely the opposite, but it's not him, it's me. And I feel horrible that I don't have the same enthusiasm as he does. I just can't help it. Like I said, I've been through so much with men over my lifetime, that I've become a little jaded. I have been jerked around so much lately that I have zero desire to date anyone, no matter who they are. This past weekend, I was put in the middle of a bad family situation and that has me in a bad funk right now. (I'll post about that later). I even told this guy, very briefly, that I had some family issues going on. I suppose maybe going out will take my mind off my family trouble. I can only hope. Thanks for listening.
Donna

(((((Donna)))))
Big hugs to you Donna. SO much to sort through. Let me ask you something. You said "And I feel horrible that I don't have the same enthusiasm as he does. I just can't help it. " Based on that, why are you trying to date right now?
My whole family situation has got me in a tailspin right now. Plus, it's only been a few weeks since my break-up with Mark. Every time me calls me, I start to miss him again. I joined the social club to try to have some fun when my kids were gone. I did not join with the intention of meeting anyone. But what happens, I meet Paul, who wants to go out on Saturday. He is a very nice guy, and I enjoy talking to him on the phone. I'm usually a private person and don't discuss my personal life with my family. But, as you will read in my other post, I have been opening up to my sister Trish lately. We have always been close, and I feel I can trust her. Anyway, I told her how I felt about dating right now. She wants me to get over Mark. She feels there is no future there, and holding on to the past isn't going to do me any good. I know she's right, I just think I need more time. I really just want to be a friend with Paul right now, and I even told him that. I'm just not sure if he will be ok with that. I feel like I need to really be over Mark before I can start a relationship with somone else. I just don't see myself getting serious with anyone right now. I don't like being deceived or strung along, and I would never do that to anyone. If I decide to go Saturday, I will make my intentions clear. And if that's not ok with Paul, then I guess I just won't see him any more. Paul doesn't know me very well, and he could never understand the weight of my family problems right now, even though I did tell him what was going on. I don't want to be a jerk to anyone, I just need some time to get my head on straight. Thanks for listening. You're like a long-distance sister.
Donna
This all makes sense Donna. I read your above post re: the pressures your family is putting on you. It's just TOO MUCH! Have fun this weekend. I am glad you realize that you're not 100% emotionally distanced from Mark yet and need time. If Paul understands this, then GREAT you'll have fun. If not, I am glad to hear you can be ok with that too.
And my .02 on the family get togethers idea.... I wouldn't agree to it. And I wouldn't allow my family to put me in the position to take the lead. You have a VERY good reason for bowing out and saying "I can't make this decision. I will participate in a few events as I am able, but I am not able to commit" You're FIRST PRIORITY is your mental health, for the sake of your children. You can support your mom in many ways without laying yourself in front of unkind, viscious family members to be trampled on.
I think you should make your decision, be confident in it, and then move forward and not carry that pressure.
Big Hugs!
I am hoping this guy is your prince!! Or at the very least a nice dinner companion to help you through difficult times.
Try to smile and be pleasant and forget about the poopoo of the other two.