Two of them, and one of me

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Two of them, and one of me
10
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 6:44pm

Have you ever been in the position of having to chose one child over another?


DD(11) and DS(13) both have something they really want to do, at the same time &

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 6:58pm

OUCH- that IS a tough call.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 7:01pm
Oh soonee I can tell that would be a hard decision even though I only have my DS!
I honestly think I would say no to both and find alternate activities for both that can work out schedule wise. I know it is a pain to drop both ideas but I dont know how you could choose without really disappointing one of them and I dont know that it would be worth the fallout emotionally. Are there alternatives that are similar to choose from?
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 7:03pm

My ONLY suggestion would be to lay it on the table for THEM, and ask THEIR advice


I already know how this would go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 7:11pm

Are there alternatives that are similar to choose from?
Honestly, no; not at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 7:14pm
Shoot! That SUCKS!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 7:25pm

I get that all the time... the dilemma of being outnumbered with concurrent events. But never with the huge distance between the 2 like you have! And never anything all that significant to the boys' interests like your situation!


I hope you can come up with a good solution somehow... I'm at a loss at what to do! If you discover the 30-day clone kit... please let me know where I can get one, too.


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1998
Sun, 06-08-2008 - 5:02am

<>

That's what I was going to say. What a difficult situation, Good luck!

 



Tracy

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 06-08-2008 - 11:26am

I would have said something similar except I have told my kids (4 yrs difference with DD the younger one) to work it out themselves and come back to me for their decision.

I would add for both of them to agree it is fair for both of them. You might want to suggest in their decision making process that whoever "loses" that they can choose a consolation prize.

This is a good for both of them to exercise their negotiation skills without mom in the middle.





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 06-08-2008 - 1:36pm
Oh yeah, BTDT. It is hard. I agree with Mark's post. Your kids are old enough to start solving these kind of issues, you can serve as referee to prevent the more dominant from making a totally self serving decision. It is important for kids to learn how to compromise and to understand that their needs sometimes are in conflict with someone else's needs. It is a life lesson that will serve them well as adults.
QB
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Mon, 06-09-2008 - 8:45am
Is there a way you can in touch with the organizer of the event(s) and ask them for advice?