Ugg - tell me what to do!!!
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| Thu, 03-08-2007 - 11:18pm |
OK - so I have been shying away from OLD, because it just doesn't seem to work. I've had exactly 2 dates in the past two years, and when the last one told me he just couldn't pay his child support because he didn't have enough money, I ran for the hills.
Hmm...some of you know my sons and I are very involved in community theater (my older son, DS18, actually made it to round 2 of American Idol this year)...last night, I auditioned for a play (which I didn't get into <>), and I met a guy auditioning for the male lead (he didn't get in either LOL). I was talking to him outside and found out he is a rarity in community theater - my age (ok, probably about 7 years younger), divorced, and straight...and single...and to my knowlege, dating no one.
So what the hell do I do? We talked outside for about 1/2 hour, of course, I was too shy to ask for a number of email address, I am attempting to get that through mutual friends (and hope someone has some way of contacting him), but I don't think I've asked someone out myself in about 30 years - so help!!! Once I get his email address, I planned on sending him a note telling him it was nice to meet him. But do I suggest getting together? Or wait until he does?
Jeez - when did this become so hard?

If you can contact him, just say something like "It was great meeting you & i had fun talking with you. If you're interested in having coffee or a drink sometime, here's my number".
& then hope he calls!
Hi,
I would encourage you to take the bull by the horns and ask him out. Maybe say in the e-mail that you enjoyed talking to him, and explain how you got his e-mail address so he won't think you're some crazy stalker ;o) !!
You could casually suggest meeting for a coffee - just something really light-hearted. I probably would not give him my phone number straight away - if he is interested he will e-mail back, and you can take it from there. A few emails would be a nice casual way to get the ball rolling.
Good luck; looking forward to hearing what you decide to do.
Clem xx
I am of the old school that wants a guy to really want to make the effort and ask me out. BUT in your case I would be a little clever - get his email address and invite more conversation regarding your shared interests - and then see if he asks you out.
Do you have hope of seeing him again?
Hi there. I think it depends on you. I hadn't ever asked a guy out, but I asked DD out, and it went well. We haven't seen each other since.
I think for me, I'm not the type of person to ask a guy out- but some are, with great success.
I also think a quick email- maybe something about theater, since you obviously have that in common, and keep it light, short, and see what his next move is. When he replies to you, wait a day before you reply to him- don't seem to eager.
Just my opinion, hope it helps!
Moody, with a date today
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I have to ask, Moody, sorry for being nosy, but I noticed you had a date today.
Do we get any details? ;o)
Living vicariously through others ROCKS!
Clem xx
Hi,
You've gotten really good advice already... I used to say "go for it, ask the guy out" but after I've been dating a while I find it more beneficial to wait for the guy to ask me out. Why? Because if he's interested then he will and if he's not than he won't. I'm beginning to believe it is that simple.
I feel my "job" is getting noticed or flirting or being friendly.... or whatever to have an interaction with a guy. I'm learning to leave the actual "asking" to him. What I'm learning is men aren't clueless or shy or too busy or afraid of rejection. Nope, if they are interested, they go out of their way to ask... if not than dare I say "he's just not that into you" ... lol. (i just bought that book, but it hasn't arrived yet, though)
I think the advice you've gotten about making contact and being open but waiting to see how he responds is a good one. Men like to think they are the ones who've taken control anyway... they like the chase. Let us know what you decide to do and how it goes....
And Moody, how about some date details.. what are you doing and with whom?
L B
Well, I have no way of contacting him, so that's out.
I mentioned him to a mutual friend, and she told me that the last she had heard (albeit a year ago), he was involved with someone. She had a phone number and an email, but she said the email may or may not be accessible by his ex-wife, so she hesitated to use it.
So in an amazing act of friendship, she called and left him a voice mail - and will try to gauge interest (or at least find out if the email address is a safe one - in which case, I can take it from there).
All right, so this is an OLD guy who I had planned to meet for lunch months ago. We both had to cancel that day, and we hadn't talked to each other since.
Completely out of the blue he called last week, and by early this week we had arranged to meet today for lunch. I wasn't sure it would actually happen since we both cancelled last time, and then he disappeared.
We did go to lunch, though, and he's not at ALL my usual type, but I had a good time. He asked about my plans for the weekend, but I already have other plans, so I simply said I was busy. When he dropped me off he said he'd like to see me again, so I told him to give me a call.
Now, I'm not sure we need to call him anything just yet, since I'm not sure I want there to be anything more to this. I did really enjoy myself, but I can find the enjoyment in any situation, so that doesn't mean we're compatible. He was friendly, nice, asked all the right questions, and was very complimentary and polite. We'll see.
Moody, who had a great lunch, regardless
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