UGH

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
UGH
15
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 4:43pm

Okay - this weekend I went out with my girlfriends to a bar on the beach that features a rock band. Their guy friends go there - it is a lot of guys from an accounting office. We went there last weekend, too, since one of their friends plays a few songs on the guitar for the band - kind of a fun thing for him.

That guy, who is a partner in the accounting office, told my friends to bring me again. He is 42, my same age, divorced, no kids and is in shape - used to be a body builder.

At any rate, he saw us sitting at the patio bar outside. And came to talk to us. He kept going back inside and then coming back out and he was asking me questions and "chatting me up." Finally his girlfriend came out to find him - she must have wondered what he was doing. She looks like a bar troll. ICK. She wasn't pleased when she saw him talking to us and I don't blame her.

Of the nerve!! He sounded kind of good because he is in shape and the partner of an accounting firm. But that behavior is not unacceptable and he dresses in Harley motorcycle clothes which is a turnoff for me.

So he is nixed but at least we had a fun evening out.

I have kind of given up on dating and men for the moment. Most of the men my age are a wreck - out of shape - with a lot of baggage and no desire/time for a relationship.

I don't want someone to hurt me or become a burden. I have a very good life.

I want someone who wants to stay in shape and who has their life together and will be that into me and good for my son. I feel that is impossible at the moment!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
In reply to: west1745
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 5:03pm

Men can be such a let down when they're scumbags. :( I'm sorry hon. Hang in there...you never know when someone coolio will show up.


My mexican guys told me last night they want to learn english and marry an American woman. LOL WEll, they are a tad bit naive, huh? I told them they didn't want to marry an american woman, that we would expect them to work all day AND come home and do chores at home like clean the house. One of them piped up and said "I can clean! I don't mind!"....awwwwww, cute huh?


What fools we mortals be. They don't know what they would be getting themselves into. I only hope they wait till they can speak more english. I feel somehow responsible for them.


Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to.




Edited 1/16/2005 5:07 pm ET ET by cl-revenoc
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: west1745
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 5:17pm

I would have warned you off of an accounting firm partner anyway, I never met one that was not a workaholic (the only way you get to be a partner). I used to be a workaholic when I worked in one, not because I wanted to be a workaholic but because it was a job requirement.

Regardless, he sounds pretty lame. You would have thought your friends would warn you he had a bar troll girlfriend!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: west1745
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 5:30pm

The funny thing is that the guy who was trying to set us up works for that guy. And he was trying to hide that his boss had a girlfriend. When we asked him who is that girl he said he didn't know!! But I insisted we go inside and see the band before we left (I had to leave early to pick up my son from a party). And when we went inside those two were clearly together so there was no question.

So I guess you couldn't ask a guy to warn you about another guy - eh?? ;-)

They said that now that he is partner he doesn't work that much. Hmmm.

At any rate, we did have just a bit of fun. The band there plays good classic rock. I just don't like the smoke or the people that hang out in bars. LOL!!

I think it is good because I am not going to feel like I am missing out on a Saturday night when I go to bed alone early to get up and ride my bike the next day.

I am going to consider myself "married" to the halfironman St. Croix. And now I am considering a big race in Denmark.

Thanks for your reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: west1745
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 5:32pm

Thanks, Candi. I don't suppose this is any different from what you went through with the mushroom farmer!!

Those Mexican guys sure sound like they have a big heart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: west1745
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 5:40pm

I hate bars too. It's funny because I can stay up and watch saturday night live or a movie or something, but take me out to a bar and I want to go home and go to bed. Plus I can't drink due to one my medications so that sort of takes the fun out of it :)

That's funny what they said about him working, to me a partner that doesn't work as much as he used to won't be a partner for long. All the partners I ever knew worked a lot more hours than I did (I worked in public accounting for 7 years and was an audit manager when I left). Maybe he's not in tax or audit? Not that it matters to you now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: west1745
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 5:48pm

I don't usually drink either!! I might have one beer but usually order club soda with lime.

I am not sure what type of accounting - I think it is for taxes - they are working 6 days a week now.

I did have a funny moment. One of the couples there was discussing the importance of flowers for valentine's day. The guy argued that he sees flowers as pointless. But the girl said she likes to get them. So they asked my opinion.

The guy said he cannot see giving a gift that will only last two days. And to that I replied, well they do last longer than some other things!! (and then I said like chocolates!) But everyone was laughing.

It is fun to get really dressed up and have the guys look at you. And I do like a bit of good music. BUT I don't like the smoke, most of the crowd and the LOUDNESS of the music - it is deafening unless you are far away.

Maybe I need to hire a body guard? He would be good looking, pick me up and take me out and protect me from the rift raft. Then bring me home at the end of the night. There would be no worries. ;-)

LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: west1745
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 6:27pm

UGH is right. What a dog!

It's great to have some guy hanging all over you, but then to find out that he's not only got a girlfriend, but that she's just in the other room, can we say TACTLESS???

I just love, what did you call her, a bar hag? LOL!!

Last year I was out at the clubs a lot, cause I was hanging out with my single with no kids cousin, and she always wanted to go out dancing. We got hit on all the time by guys, and sometimes by the WORST! The last time we went, we were hit on by two guys that said they were 19, but I wasn't sure. It's like, you go off the dance floor to cool down and then it's suddenly all the loser guys who come to chat you up- what is with that? But really, these two were just sooooo dumb, one asked me what I do, to which I replied, "I'm a bookkeeper" to which he asked, "is that like in a library?". I just shook my head.

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: west1745
Sun, 01-16-2005 - 7:21pm

Thanks, Alison. The book keeper story is crazy!! :-)

I am not sure if anyone read my post from last week because it was buried at the end of a thread.

BUT last week we went to a country-western bar after the bar on the beach. We were just there to check it out and we got hungry. We sat down at a table kind of out of the way. And we ordered salads.

All of a sudden the waitress brought us a round of shots with whipped cream. She said it was from some guys across the room and the bartender told her to do it. Then she brought another round!! We didn't even drink the first round. But I just had to ask her what those were - I have never seen shots with whipped cream on the top.

Okay - brace yourself - the shots were called blow jobs!! One of my single friends LOVES whipped cream so she drank one and we were laughing at her because she had a ring of whipped cream on her lips.

The guys came to visit us and they thought it was funny. But we were not impressed.

I was just thinking, though, that I have come a long way with the dating thing. I no longer assume everyone I meet could be the one. I am kind of careful. I observe a lot more and I understand men a lot better. In days gone by I might have had a more cavalier attitude and would have thought nothing of him dropping her for me.

There were other things I didn't like - like he seems to be obsessive about things - first was the fact that he was a body builder and won Mr. Florida in his younger days. Then was his obsession with classical guitar that he had to have fake nails and he made the comment that he thought the nail salon was a good place to pick up girls!! (That was the answer to our question of how did he play the electric guitar - it was because he was sick of the nails for the acoustic guitar!!)

Then he is obviously a little crazy with the Harley stuff. I honestly don't think I could ever date a guy with a motorcycle. I abhor motorcycles.

Plus his mother was there and she looked like a floozy. And his twin brother (not married or attached) had this whacko long hair, no shirt, snake skin pants and plays the drums. That is a family in law from hell in the making.

Another thing is that he told me and my friend to stop by his office for lunch one day. No way to that either. He would have to get my phone number and ask me out. IN days gone by I probably would have gone to his office for lunch.

Thanks for your reply. I am waiting to see what the MOnday morning crowd says, too.




Edited 1/16/2005 7:55 pm ET ET by west1745
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: west1745
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 12:21am

West, I'm sorry that guy turned out to be a toad. You have a great attitude about it and you're smart for figuring him out so quickly. I can't believe he had a girlfriend and was still interested in getting something started with you. That speaks volumes for his lack of character.

I'm so turned off by the older guys who never had any kids. They seem so self-centered. In what you posted about this guy, it seems like he talked a lot about himself. He was more interested in you having a high opinion of him than in getting to know what you're all about.

Just keep believing that something good will happen for you. There is a man out there who is an even match for you. He's in shape and will be highly interested in only you. You won't have to chase him and he won't be a burden for you.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
In reply to: west1745
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 1:14am
Amen. lol (;)
I loved what you said about older guys who are childless.
They are self-centered.
Selfish.
It is all about them.
My soon to be ex-b/f is older than me,
never married and childless.
I have realized it is not enough, I want and deserve more.
Why settle, I can't.
I would rather be alone.
nightangel
Nightangel

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