UHOH! He wants me to be his Girlfriend!

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
UHOH! He wants me to be his Girlfriend!
5
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 9:22am
Alrighty! As we all know I am the dating master! LOL

Well the dating master now feels a little rotten, because I have Mr. 21, that I have been dating for a little while, wanting to be exclusive. The not so sure if this is a good or bad idea, because: He's leaving. Very soon! IN like 3-5wks! Back to Texas. So should I just say ok, and then have fun just with him, till he is gone and hope he just let it take it's course when he's gone? Or should I back off now before we get to more involved with each other? Saving one or both of us from heartache. HE HAS AN ILLUSION that because I am moving back to Texas anyway, that he doesn't see why we can't start with a commitment here. YEAH RIGHT, like long distance works! NOT!

How do I feel about this guy? Well, he makes me very happy. I have butterflies in my stomach when he's with me. We talk about a lot of things. He has a way of making me not look at things so heavy. To take a more relaxed approach and take more time to have fun, instead of not stressing out all the time. We have very similiar backgrounds, regards of the age difference and I feel young and sexy, because he makes me feel that way. He has a thing about making me feel very special, that I like, that usually I HATE. I LET HIM TOUCH MY FACE! LOL which is a major deal for me.

YET! THE RED FLAGS ARE!!:

He says he needs me! He has no money, has no real idea where he is going in life, and I have a feeling the plans he is making, are not going to turn out like he hopes for himself. I think he is going to sink before he can swim. I think he hasn't yet lived life of responsibility and has no idea how to think that way. AND sometimes I feel like I am the adult and he is the child,(not mother son syndrom tho!) because he comes to me for advice and listens very intently to what I have to say. Which is great, but he is attached definitly because I am a strong individual and very independent. He feels like he needs someone like me in his life. That me in his life is going to save him from everything bad happening. Kind of like the security blanket.

Anyhow! What do I do now? I don't think I want to get involved so deeply that I again go through an awful pain/sadness. You guys know how I always tend to get myself in awful situations, so should I let it go now or wait till he's gone?

It was a lot easier dating 4 men, then being exclusive with 1.

This weekend we are going for a Spa Weekend in one of the towns in the area for just relaxing, massage, swimming, sauna, etc. I am looking forward to it, but then I get worried again that we'll get even more closer again. ARGH! It basically scares the heck out of me.

I know all the signs of why I need to get out of this one, but as usual, I find myself just sitting here and waiting for lightening to strike me. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 9:52am
I think he sounds like a lot of fun for a vacation. But no chance of a life partner if that is what you are looking for.

When are you moving to Texas?

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 10:55am
Moving to san anton. in the next 9 months. Just have to save up money until then and get myself organized for a job over their.
Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 11:45am

He says he needs me! He has no money, has no real idea where he is going in life, and I have a feeling the plans he is making, are not going to turn out like he hopes for himself


Catherine, I think you know you don't want to waste anymore time with relationships that do NOT take you in the direction you want to go. I would think this is not where you are heading. You are a career gal, you've been very responsible in raising your two children yourself, you're making plans for a VERY big move, and you've really seemed to enjoy just playing the field when you have time but not being tied down.


Question: Why would you give up all of that for a 21 year old kid who has no real direction.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 12:10pm
"I LET HIM TOUCH MY FACE! LOL which is a major deal for me."

Are you related to my husband????? Seriously! He has MAJOR issues with ANYONE (me and our 2 year son, who loves to pet daddy's face, included!) touching his face! LOL

"AND sometimes I feel like I am the adult and he is the child"

RUN! RUN for the hills!!!!!!!!

I had to laugh when I read "I know all the signs of why I need to get out of this one, but as usual, I find myself just sitting here and waiting for lightening to strike me."

You already know what you need to do. And you know what we are going to tell you to do! But just like every other situation - you don't want to hurt him - so you are just going to sit and wait for that lightening!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 4:53pm

Hi Catherine, I know you already know what to do with this guy.