Umarmung und Kuß - Date Story

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Umarmung und Kuß - Date Story
30
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 1:01am

That is German for hug and kiss.

Okay. Sit down. How can this be?

Recap of how we met. Yesterday you remember I was pissed off that I took second fiddle to a boatload of beer. So, I remembered that FF said I look much better than my pix. And I noticed that I looked good compared to the girls FF's friends were dating that were my age. And my online pix are 5 years old and are mishmash of ones other people take and email to me. So, I set out to do better and to make sure the beer drinker sees it. My poor assistant got a text message so early in the morning - hurry and get here you need to take pix of me. She is like WTF? She had liked the FF.

Anyway, pix go up.

Last night I had craziness on my laptop. Alison is on IM telling me about her date. And I am on the POF IM with 2 guys from POF. There were others trying to IM too but I didn't like them and when I shut them off I shut them all off. And then the German guy comes on and says am I having trouble making up my mind? I say no - just connection problems - but by now he is already in another chat. Whatever. The South African comes back on and when I ask him what he likes to do for fun he mentions sex - so he gets the delete key big time. I go back to the German because I find his IM box waiting. So we chat.

Not a big deal - he is 6 years younger and not living here but commuting from another place but moving here- so that is okay. We have hesitation. And then I ask him where he used to live. I don't know we are typing - then we realize we both used to live in Switzerland and blab about that. I ask him what he is looking for because he has "other" as a relationship and he says he wants someone who can cook (cough cough - you all know I went to cooking school and have done that my whole life) and who is well travelled with an open mind and who is fit. His father was a chef who worked for the same company as my mentor in Switzerland. And he lived in one of the places I went to school. I am trying to remember my swiss german. At the same time I am trying to send Alison his profile and instead of hitting the profile button I hit the kiss key and send him a kiss - HORRORS - that is not playing it cool - so I apologize and he is funny he sends the smack noise.

Okay - so he is funny - I tell him he can have my cell and he says no he already has a cell phone. Wise guy. But I give him the number. This morning he is back on POF waiting to IM me and see if he can call during the day while he is driving here.

He calls an we chat and have fun on the phone. He says he wants to meet me tonight. Why not? There are no plans for me anyway. And DS is going with his dad - how convenient. He says we should meet on the beach. But he is concerned that is far for me to drive. But I explain it is really half way from where he is and he has been driving 4 hours and I have been home all day and would love to go to the beach.

So I get to the beach and I think I see him standing there. I call him and he reaches for his cell phone and I say I am right behind you. We both look like our pix and I can tell we approve so that is good.

We sit at the bar - and he only has 1.5 glasses of wine the whole night - same as me. We did discuss that - and our online dating and basic life history. All boxes are checked for what we want out of our lives from here and what we have been through and stuff like that.

He is 39 - 6 years younger and that is okay - it is not a big deal and like we are both the same. We talked a lot and got along great and had a great time. He brought me chocolate from Germany which I love!! And he asked if he could hold my hand which was nice. He kissed me a few times at the end before we left the bar - just nice - not crazy. Then he walked me to my car. And I let him really kiss me and the sparks flew. How can this be? I did not expect that. He is sad that I will leave for a week - but I say he can call me while I am in Jackson Hole.

I like him. I like his accent - will see where it goes and report. How lucky is that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 9:59am

I agree. Even with the firefighter - the warnings were there to check the drinking, which I did early on and am relieved I could discover that off the bat and then dump him after we played 24 beers on the wall - LOL!! But one of my friends is dating a fireman - has been dating him for 2 years and he barely drinks at all - they do a lot of training together because both are ironman triathletes and they have remodeled the house too - a big difference in using the time wisely. I would consider another fireman but watch for this too.

I think the cultural differences between Americans and Europeans are interesting and worth exploring. But I do have an open mind and I can understand the differences and appreciate them. I have a lot of friends from Europe and Latin America and love them all. I have worked for many European chefs, too, and gotten along with them and learned a lot from them. And I have studied with them both here in the US and in Switzerland. I think this is one thing he was really looking for in his initial chat - that he wants someone with an open mind who is well travelled and who is not intolerant of others. And he wants someone beautiful on the inside who is kind. I really am both of those.

And I don't mind cooking - I love to cook and actually prefer that to eating out because I like to eat healthy. When the FF and I went away, I found a place with a kitchen so we could cook together and hang out and he loved that.

But first we have to see if he calls, girls!! LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 10:02am

LOL - we are putting the cart before the horse aren't we?!?!?

Of course he'll call - I bet my bottom euro on it.

Clem xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 10:08am

I don't know if I put this in my story - but he did call to make sure I got home okay - and my stupid cell phone ran out of batteries so it went to voice mail. I was talking to my friend and starting to tell her the story - she thought he was calling me and that I hung up on her to talk to him so she called first thing this morning because she was dying for the story. My stupid cell phone is brand new and I don't have the car charger - ERRRGG.

Anyway so went I got home I messaged back that I was home fine and sorry the battery died on the phone. So he messaged back that he is really happy I am okay and said goodnight xoxo

And yes you can call him Heinz - I thought that was funny and a cute German name.

I must say I am so surprised at the number of men I have spoken with lately who are really looking for a committed relationship and are tired of the dating process that has to proceed it. They are tired of finding women who lie about their age and put up very old photos that don't look like them or they drink too much or smoke too much, etc, etc.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 10:17am
I'll call him Karl-Heinz. Every darn German I know is named Karl-Heinz. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 10:17am
Make sure you pack the charger NOW! You don't want to have to catch up on dozens of voicemails from Heinz once you get back from your trip. LOL
Clem xx
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 10:20am

True. But we are staying in a tent cabin and I am not sure if it has electricity. And the car charger I ordered on ebay is not here yet. I think a trip to the phone store is needed!

Plus I am just not ready. I have had so much work to do and am not getting it done because of my OLD activities and we are not packed. Oh well, I always work better on deadline - LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 10:38am

Oh my goodness - Situation Critical! A trip to the phone store definitely looks like a must !

Clem xx

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 11:53am
that's one great date! Nothing weird about it being good...ENJOY!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 2:56pm

cultural stereotyping is a load of rot!


Perhaps, but not recognizing - and respecting - cultural differences can be a disaster.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 3:55pm

People are individuals, but there are certainly differences among cultures that can't be dismissed. A person's culture may not define who they are, but it can't help but have some influence. ****

I completely agree with this statement. Therefore, it is probably a reason I do not date certain cultures. Though it is not right to stereotype, their are certain things that I can't handle in certain countries. Mainly the treatment of women.
Things that I thought to overlook because I was in the infatuation stage. Things that seemed cute at the time, but became a nightmare later. Again, it depends on how long and how much culture you were raised in that particular country. Germans for instance, are EXTREMELY organized, to the point of being almost anal. Germans are EXTREMELY stubborn. Their way or no way.
Very rarely do you see a man do anything a woman "should" be doing. The men do not cook, clean, do the yard or otherwise. They go to work and the usually to the pub. The woman is expected to cook, clean, raise the children, do the yard work, etc etc etc.
Women are not to have more successful careers, nor more education and looked down upon if you choose to work verses staying at home and raising your children.
I had to fight tooth and nail as a single mom to go back to work after my second child. Total nightmare. The goverment disapproves and no childcare abilities until they are 3years old proves that.
Stereotyping is wrong, but again, if you truly were raised in that certain culture and in that certain country then something WILL stick. Living their half my life, has made me realize, I am much happier here with someone to share those things with me. And maybe, as with Miss Clemmy, she has her guy that thinks: Do as the Romans do. Because when I lived in Germany, I was expected to act and be German. To get used to THEIR culture. I was told for many years across the board from work to home life that this wasn't America anymore.

I love Germany, I am very proud to be German, because I was born and raised to be a true German, but I also grew up here for a long time and I like it much more from afar and the only thing I really miss is walking in the forests, eating fantastic food and the Autobahn. And that truly is about it.