Umarmung und Kuß - Date Story
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| Thu, 05-31-2007 - 1:01am |
That is German for hug and kiss.
Okay. Sit down. How can this be?
Recap of how we met. Yesterday you remember I was pissed off that I took second fiddle to a boatload of beer. So, I remembered that FF said I look much better than my pix. And I noticed that I looked good compared to the girls FF's friends were dating that were my age. And my online pix are 5 years old and are mishmash of ones other people take and email to me. So, I set out to do better and to make sure the beer drinker sees it. My poor assistant got a text message so early in the morning - hurry and get here you need to take pix of me. She is like WTF? She had liked the FF.
Anyway, pix go up.
Last night I had craziness on my laptop. Alison is on IM telling me about her date. And I am on the POF IM with 2 guys from POF. There were others trying to IM too but I didn't like them and when I shut them off I shut them all off. And then the German guy comes on and says am I having trouble making up my mind? I say no - just connection problems - but by now he is already in another chat. Whatever. The South African comes back on and when I ask him what he likes to do for fun he mentions sex - so he gets the delete key big time. I go back to the German because I find his IM box waiting. So we chat.
Not a big deal - he is 6 years younger and not living here but commuting from another place but moving here- so that is okay. We have hesitation. And then I ask him where he used to live. I don't know we are typing - then we realize we both used to live in Switzerland and blab about that. I ask him what he is looking for because he has "other" as a relationship and he says he wants someone who can cook (cough cough - you all know I went to cooking school and have done that my whole life) and who is well travelled with an open mind and who is fit. His father was a chef who worked for the same company as my mentor in Switzerland. And he lived in one of the places I went to school. I am trying to remember my swiss german. At the same time I am trying to send Alison his profile and instead of hitting the profile button I hit the kiss key and send him a kiss - HORRORS - that is not playing it cool - so I apologize and he is funny he sends the smack noise.
Okay - so he is funny - I tell him he can have my cell and he says no he already has a cell phone. Wise guy. But I give him the number. This morning he is back on POF waiting to IM me and see if he can call during the day while he is driving here.
He calls an we chat and have fun on the phone. He says he wants to meet me tonight. Why not? There are no plans for me anyway. And DS is going with his dad - how convenient. He says we should meet on the beach. But he is concerned that is far for me to drive. But I explain it is really half way from where he is and he has been driving 4 hours and I have been home all day and would love to go to the beach.
So I get to the beach and I think I see him standing there. I call him and he reaches for his cell phone and I say I am right behind you. We both look like our pix and I can tell we approve so that is good.
We sit at the bar - and he only has 1.5 glasses of wine the whole night - same as me. We did discuss that - and our online dating and basic life history. All boxes are checked for what we want out of our lives from here and what we have been through and stuff like that.
He is 39 - 6 years younger and that is okay - it is not a big deal and like we are both the same. We talked a lot and got along great and had a great time. He brought me chocolate from Germany which I love!! And he asked if he could hold my hand which was nice. He kissed me a few times at the end before we left the bar - just nice - not crazy. Then he walked me to my car. And I let him really kiss me and the sparks flew. How can this be? I did not expect that. He is sad that I will leave for a week - but I say he can call me while I am in Jackson Hole.
I like him. I like his accent - will see where it goes and report. How lucky is that?

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That is all good fodder and I will work it into the conversation - about cultural differences and the roles of genders. And I will observe too. He has been here a while so that probably helps. I have noticed that with the South Americans here - the longer they are here the more like us they become - although that is not always such a good thing!!
But wow - what a pain that you could not work or get child support.
From some of his stories, he sounds quite metrosexual. I was surprised at that. He is affectionate and very polite. And is very romantic. Maybe that comes from his mom's Spanish upbringing? Because the Latin and Mediterranean cultures are quite different from the German ones - talk about romance and spontaneity - and I know he spent a lot of time there too.
I was lucky to have my Mom take care of the girls, otherwise, I couldn't have worked for the first 3 years. I don't receive support, but I do have the goverment pay me for having had Nina. That has made a difference. Germany is almost childless, so the Goverment paying for us having children has helped increase the population some, but not much.
Am I the only one who didn't know what a metrosexual is?
Metrosexual - A heterosexual man who's in touch with his feminine side; one who weeps during Sleepless In Seattle
Soonee, who will use her new word 3 times today (lol)
A few interesting points here. Generalisations tend to irk me, but of course I agree that we are all influenced by our upbringing to a certain extent. I think you gave some great, very interesting examples. Thank you!
I believe there is a very fine line between recognising other peoples' cultural differences, and racism. In France, for example, if there's any trouble, the French presume it's the Arabs. This message is passed down from generation to generation, and I find it particularly sad to hear children repeating this type of thing parrot-fashion "because that's what mom and dad say".
Recently, I have been very aware of my "cultural differences" with respect to Judy's story with Fireman. I realised I was more or less the only person here who didn't really understand the drinking issue, and his behaviour was not shocking to me at all. Of course, I respect everyone else's point of view, and I am convinced that Judy did the right thing for her. I admire her strength over this.
Well, Karl-Heinz didn't stick around too long, but he has certainly given us all food for thought lol.
Clem xx
I'm with you on the "very organized, almost anal" question! My life certainly changed when I started living with Monkey! We always have a laugh about this sort of thing, which is good, otherwise I think it would drive me nuts. Another source of humour is the Germans' penchant for socks with sandals - did you notice that? Serious fashion mistake ;o)
An e-mail conversation we had a couple of days ago could illustrate the point:
Clem: OK, see you at the station just after seven o'clock then
Monkey: Oh, do you want me to get an earlier train then? Because the one I planned on taking arrives at 7.12
Clem: Well, to me 7.12 IS just after seven o'clock
Monkey: Oh yes, I am being German aren't I?
I also thought your point about when in Rome, do as the Romans do, was very interesting. I hadn't really thought about that aspect before. Gives me something to ponder - thank you!
Clem xx
I understand from Judy's POV the drinking issue with FF, but I also know that many people drink and aren't alcoholics.
I know for me, I could easily share a case of beer in a weekend and not be affected, but I also can go months without drinking one. It's a social thing, and quite simply depends on the situation.
I think what the issue really was is how much is one person willing to accept. For me, the drinking might not have been a problem, for Judy it was. There's nothing wrong with either of us, we just have differences.
Moody, who thinks there are also regional differences
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I like that. I am a literal person so saying what I mean and meaning what I say is the way I like to communicate. I feel that there is less chance of misunderstanding that way.
Mark
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