um...more crazy talk

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
um...more crazy talk
11
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 12:20am

OK so the guy I'm suppossed to be going out with on Friday night sent me an e-mail yesterday morning apologizing about being a little off on the phone the night before. I thought he was fine, little tired but didn't bug me at all. So I send him an email back and confirm about Friday and tell him I'll call him after the kids are asleep. So I call and it goes straight to voicemail and I leave a message. I check to see if the email has been read today and not yet...so later on today I text him "Hey! :) How is your day? Did you get my message?" Haven't received a text back, checked to see if he read the e-mail already and he had and it's 9pm and no call yet.

Here is my thing....does he think the e-mail was for tonight? I'm not gonna call tonight since I already texted him and got no response but what if his phone is freaking out... Maybe I was to smart@assy in my e-mail? Maybe I shouldn't have texted him?

Crap...this is ridiculous. I'm overthinking this aren't I?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 6:59am

The thing is, you have to do NOTHING - let him lead in the beginning. That way you can determine what he wants and what his intentions are and then you don't wind up confused or frustrated. It is a slow process. Maybe this guy is after other girls or not that serious about you - then you just have to wait for the one who is calling you, emailing you and wanting to make plans with you. The only way to tell this is to have patience and not get stuck on one guy too early. Holding back on intimacy until you know he really wants you exclusively helps, too, because that keeps you from getting too attached.

If I was you, I would just chill for now and see what happens. If it is not him it will be another - there are always more. Men are a "renewable" resource (to quote from my son's science lessons!) LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 7:31am

Yes. you're overthinking. Welcome to my world!

If his phone is freaking out, that's his problem- and it's also a convenient excuse. The odds of his phone and email being buggy at the same time are pretty slim, so I would say he was doing something else, had his phone turned off, and simply hadn't checked his email yet.

Plan on going out friday, but if you don't hear back from him, GO ALONE. or find some friends, or make another last minute date. Do not sit at home wondering where he is and why he hasn't contacted you. It doesn't matter why- he didn't, and you can join us all in saying, "NEXT!!"

If he does, cool. go, have fun. Don't attempt to contact him anymore- you don't want to seem like you're stalking him. He'll contact you if he wants to see you. If not, his loss.

Moody, not a contacter


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 9:47am

"Plan on going out friday, but if you don't hear back from him, GO ALONE."

Welcome to my world. I do this ALL the time. But I feel good because I know that I'm not waiting by the phone and I usually meet new guys (or atleast interesting people) if I do go out alone.

At the very least... enjoy some time to yourself (sans children).

Love,
LB

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 11:44am

crap...this sucks!

OK, didn't call, not gonna. I'm sure he'll call tonight and if not I'm making other plans. The thing I'm worried about is if he read the e-mail I sent on Tuesday on Wednesday...then maybe he thought I was gonna call last night. Then again, I did send a text yesterday seeing if he got my message....Alright, no more of this nonsense. I'm gonna have fun on Friday night come hell or high water!!

Thanks girls!! This support is MUCH needed!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 1:42pm

He knows the email you sent on Tuesday meant that you were going to call on Tuesday night.

Going forward, do not tell a man that you are going to call him so early in the dating game. Make him work to get a date with you. This is the only way that he will view you as valuable. Men like to chase shiny things. Be fabulous.

You might have scared him off with the email, phone call, and text message. If so, don't worry about it. Another guy will come along. If not, he will keep the date and you do not have to track him down. He'll find you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 4:48pm

ok...i'm getting all turned around.

We spoke on the phone on Sunday. He sent me an e-mail on Monday asking to call him that night and confirming Friday's date. I responded to the e-mail on Monday and said I would call and we're on for Friday. Monday night I called, straight to voicemail, left a message. Tuesday I texted him because I noticed he did had not read the e-mail from Monday. No call last night.

Have I messed up??

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 4:51pm

"Messed up" is a little drastic. Just be patient now and wait for him to call. Not like being patient's easy, but if he's into you, he'll call, email, text, something.

You have done your part, now it's up to him.

Moody, who calls her girlfriends when she wants to call a man


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 5:14pm

No - you haven't messed up. I think the only thing I would have done different is not to send the text. Just don't do anything more - maybe he is busy and will get back to you later. And if he doesn't that is his loss.

Dating is such a pain!! Any one of us could be in the hot seat like this!! I hope it all works out - keep us posted!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 6:56pm

heehee!!!
So he called to tell me he would call me tonight....good sign right??
I was so relieved but was cool as a cucumber on the phone. I just really wanted to go out on Friday night....oh ya, and I kinda like him *giggle*

Oh my god I'm 12!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 02-07-2007 - 7:46pm

Okay - good work! Keep us posted.

And yes - we are all 12 when it comes to this.

Glad to hear he called. It is great to see you posting on all of our threads - I think you will have a riot here as we do.

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