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| Sat, 05-24-2008 - 1:17pm |
NN and I are getting along fine. We have seen each other every single night all week. He pops over after the kids go to bed and we sit and talk and kiss. Just kiss. Nothing else.
However, on Thursday, my kids were with their dad and he asked me to come over to his place. I did and he said he was watching TV in his room. We laid down together and talked but something was off. Ever have that feeling that you shouldn't be where you are? Then I hear my phone ring downstairs. It's Bikerguy's ring. Talk about pouring cold water on a person. He must have sensed something wasn't right because he offered to walk me home so that I could get some rest. So I went home and called Bikerguy back. We chatted for a few minutes about the weekend and I hung up and went to bed.
All day yesterday I felt funny about the whole NN time at this house. He's always been a gentlemen and I even lying on his bed, we did nothing by talk and kiss. So what was up with me?
Fast forward to last night...Bikerguy asked me to come over and hang out. I had nothing going on so went over but didn't spend the night. Yay for me! I left and came home and on the say I texted NN and said that I'm sorry about the night before but I want to take intimacy with him slow. I've always jumped into sex with every man I've ever been with and I want to make good decisions this time. I'm very attracted to him and don't want to be seen as a tease but I'm not ready to move in that direction just yet. He called me and asked if he could come over for a few minutes to talk. Uh, oh!!! But he told me that he sensed that something wasn't quite right Thursday when I was over. I told him that I felt I had put myself in a position with him (in his bedroom) that I wasn't ready for and was worried he would misunderstand. He told me he is totally fine with things as they are...going out to dinner, talking, kissing, etc. He's in no hurry to move into intimacy right now. Not that he doesn't think about it :-) which is good
Wow! Now I like him even more. We talked more about his smoking last night and he said that his days of smoking are coming to an end but he needs to taper off and hopes I understand. He said that he has to do it for himself and no one else and I told him I totally agree with that thinking.
So what's up for the rest of the weekend...lunch with NN today. Dinner and hang out with Bikerguy tonight and a motorcycle ride with Bikerguy and friends tomorrow and a little after ride party and cocktails. Can't wait. I know I'm probably playing with fire with Bikerguy but I still enjoy his company and I find it interesting that my new confidence in myself makes it more fun to be with him. I'm not trying to impress him all the time, you know?
Anyway...thanks for reading all this and hope everyone keeps the updates coming and has a great weekend!
Cat
