Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Update
18
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 11:32am

~Pacific~

Pages

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: pacific_sun
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 12:41pm

It seems it keeps coming down to BE's co-dependence characteristics/behavior whether with his daughter or with his friends or such people as this vet.


You can only point out the impact of BE's behavior on you but he needs to (1) admit that he has issues with this, (2) that he is willing to do something about it, and (3) do something about it - like go to a Co-Dependents Anon meeting.


I see that you are already doing what you need to do, ex. creating your own life (disc golf), setting and asserting your

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 1:08pm

Wow, Pac.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: pacific_sun
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 4:36pm

"Sorry to ramble. I am staying true to my feelings and keeping involved with my own stuff. It's just hard when you see the disfunction in the SO's whole family- and how it can't help but effect your own life! I know City has been there recently with the SO's sister and bro-in-law. Wow do I understand!"

I think you have a good handle on things - and that is all you can do. Sounds like you need to stay away from the new room mate!! UGH!!

The one thing is that we can choose who we date, but unfortunately we do not get to pick their families!! Hopefully if you step back he will sort it out on his own so he can have more time with you.

Good luck and keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: pacific_sun
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 4:49pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: pacific_sun
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 5:50pm

Hmmm- where was BE when Veteran Creep Show cornered you?


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 6:19pm

Thanks to all for your words and as always, your encouragement.


I am drained from feeling the emotions and so I feel strange and distant even from myself today- you know the feeling? I'm being self protective and catious and stepping back a bit...watching from the sidelines and having faith that BE will deal with this all proactively. He already knows he has my support.


I am just sort of happy to be back in the midst of my work week (did I just day that??) in order to focus on other things right now..and dd, and housekeeping and cooking...all the things that keep me feeling "normal" lol.


I'm letting things play put and having BE call me with updates. The daughter plans on comming out tomorrow. I'm staying away from his place also until the Vetran is either gone or put in his place.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: pacific_sun
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 6:28pm
Sounds like you are doing very good. I think that is natural to want to retreat and not be in the middle and that is what I would do, too. And you have your hands full with your own stuff.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 2:54pm

So BE's daughter

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 1:31pm

Sad news-


BE is keeping me informed but the info I'm getting saddens me. She has decided to bring ONE of the children, the three year old boy with her. She also got an eviction notice, so things are really in the air as far as where she's going next.


She told BE that the other child, her two year old daughter, (who she is leaving in Vegas with the dad for now) has been kicked out of daycare for hitting other kids. She's acting out..and it's so sad to me. This is BE's granddaughter and she is feeling all the stress and fear from her parents disfunction.


So- I'm just trying to gather my thoughts and will try my best to talk to her in a way that makes a positive impact. Inside I feel angry at how she is (or is not) "mothering" her her children. BE wants to come over tonight to my place..he too is feeling mentally wiped out and wants to just collapse in my arms. I think a few hours tonight just to regroup and have quality time will be nice. He told me that we can face anything if we stick together and tackle the worlds daggers together rather than letting them come between us, and I agree.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: pacific_sun
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 2:09pm

What a mess! How the HECK can she leave one kiddo behind???? Errrr!

Photobucket

Pages