update

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
update
2
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 12:42am

ok, so no posting in a while, lurking some though, love to catch up with what everyone is doing.

Guy I met from POF in March is GREAT!! We are both totally smitten and things moving well. Had a totally "girly" moment today, he had come over, we had talked of the future - marraige, house etc. BTW its not just me with these thoughts, he brings them up regularly. When he left I was totally overwhelmed, can't even imagine what I was thinking, we have only know each other a couple of months and suddenly I, who said I had no desire to marry right away, was feeling like there is no way we will ever be able to overcome all the obstacles that we have so that our future can begin. Got really bummed out.

He called later and I, who never cries, did - I so badly want all the junk out of the way and to move onto forever. Never thought I would ever feel this way. Apologized to him for getting all "girly". He is so great, he just talked me thru it, reassuring me the whole time that things will work out and that I am not in this alone.

I am so emotionally vested in this I just can't believe it is me. Not sure if that is good or bad. I just haven't been this connected to someone before. My head tells me that we are moving way to fast, but my heart says not nearly fast enough.

Faith

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
In reply to: losingfaith
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 8:22am

Faith, I think my relationship is very similar to yours. I haven't had a freak out (yet) with funnyguy, but I do vent to all of my friends, especially the married ones.

funnyguy and I have only one hurdle, but to me it's major. He still pays for the house he owns... that his ex wife LIVES in. I know this isn't grossly uncommon- but she pays nothing, isn't on the mortgage, and doesn't plan to buy him out. They have no children together, so for me- I'm torn. She has two teenaged children from a previous marriage, and I get that he doesn't want to make them homeless- but as a mother, I can't understand WHY she'd be content to live for free in someone else's house, and as his girlfriend, I can't understand why he'd let himself be taken advantage of like that.

funnyguy and I want the same things- to be settled, committed, think about marriage, but I know I won't be thinking seirously about moving forward at all until his ex's housing arrangements have changed.

This is actually a blessing in disguise, though, because it's keeping me from jumping right into moving in together- something I've done in the past- and we're taking more time to get to know one another. It's great to know he isn't heartless, but frustrating to know until something gives, we're at a standstill.

Meanwhile, I'm enjoying being with him, spending time with my own friends and family, and getting to know his. I guess my advice for you would be to do the same. Don't think too much about the future- and I know it's hard- and just enjoy today as much as possible.

Keep us posted- we're always here if you need to vent!

Moody, refusing to freak


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: losingfaith
Tue, 05-29-2007 - 9:24am
Well, that hurdle is certainly better than 36 beers in 2 days. I think you are smart to slow down and see what happens. Hopefully it will be okay because he sounds good.