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| Tue, 02-06-2007 - 2:10pm |
I have been divorced now for 28 months if you count the beginning of procedings. Not a single date. No prospects to speak of. Not even an enlightened conversation. Either I am too blind to see it or it just isn't happening for me. I am not plain looking, particularly wierd, mean, or dull. But lately I have just been getting depressed. It really sunk in when one of the guys at work asked me if I was going to the annual ball. After a long pause I asked if he was going. He said yes. I said that is nice. And then sulked all night because nobody ever asked me if I would join them. I just don't get it. I am not even having rounds of bad dates. Rather absolutely no dates at all. I admit that I just don't see myself ever dating anyone, not because I don't want to, but because, well, I don't even know what to do on a date. I don't think anyone my age, in the 30s, is capable of going as slow as I would need. Nor should they. But it sure is lonely.

HGLucky, instead of feeling lonely, fill your life with things YOU love. if you aren't dating, and have no prospects, this is the absolute best time to explore things you've always wanted to do, and then DO them. There's nothing (and no one) holding you back.
Also, explore other avenues if dating is something you want to do. There are a ton of respectable dating websites, including sites specific to those only looking to make friends and meet activities partners. If OLD isn't your thing, try joining a gym, a book club, start going to a different coffee shop than you normally would, etc, etc, etc.
If you want to meet people, and whatever you're doing now isn't working, logic tells us that you must do something different. Be open to meeting people- even women, or married men, may know someone who is great.
Whatever you do, concentrate on being the absolute happiest you can be- for you. This is a huge thing- not only will you be more attractive to others, you'll also feel so wonderful that it won't matter anymore that you haven't had a date in ages.
Keep your chin up, and remember we're always here for support, advice, and encouragement. We'd also love yours, too!
Moody, who likes to change things up as often as possible
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Moody, I absolutely, totally agree with what you have to say! And I have nothing to add! You said it all! ;-)
And to hglucky- listen to her! I surround myself with my hobbies and things-to-do so my week is full of activities. I know I have a BF right now, but we only see each other once a week. I'm surely not sitting here bored the rest of the week just because he's not around!
~shrimpy
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Trust me, no dates is way better than bad ones.
Your life should be full and lively with friends and activities - if you are lonely then it is your own fault and you are not doing your homework!! I think we all go through times like these. And probably what happened is that you just haven't started the ball rolling to get your life back in order after your divorce. That is very hard to do!!
If you start doing interesting things you will have great stuff to talk about. You can get active all sorts of ways - at the gym, church, neighborhood, kid stuff, work stuff. Just talk to people. Invite yourself!! Get out of the house!!
One day it will all come together and you will be busy and happy. Then you will be knocked over the head with Mr.Right.
Of course when you are home with nothing to do we welcome and encourage you to post away to your heart's content on this board - we love new people and participation!!
WELCOME! And HUGS!!