Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Update
5
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 3:55pm

First off, I wanted to thank everyone for listening to me and responding. I do feel a lot better today. I'm back on my medication, and my emotions are more in check. Thanks Cat, West, Candi, Becky, Tara and First. You really did help a lot.

I talked to Katie's teacher yesterday. We have a big meeting scheduled for February 10, but I wanted to ask her a few questions about the progress report. She said Katie tries really hard, it's just not clicking with her. I wrote down the suggestions that I got from here on the board, and I'm going to bring up having her tested for learning disabilities. It's so hard for me to see her struggle, because she's such a great kid. Plus, I want to keep up her enthusiasm and self-esteem.

Candi: I printed your response because I want to buy those books that you suggested. I know I need help in the self-esteem department, and those books sound great. Thanks.

Becky: After I read your response, I knew I needed to bring up getting Katie tested for disabilities. Katie does well if you read to her. She knows the material and can give you the answer, she just can't read it herself. She has some sort of block to reading. If the testing doesn't work, then I might have to take her to a learning center like Sylvan and see if they can help her. Doesn't it suck to see your child whom you love with all your heart struggle so much?

Cat: I think we are twins.

I talked to Mark last night. He was checking up on the kitten we got for Katie over the weekend. You should see her with this kitten. She carries it everywhere; talks to it; sleeps with it; it sat next to her while she was doing her homework. I was hoping that this kitten will keep her spirits up and keep up her self-esteem. She absolutely adores it!! Anyway, Alex wanted to thank Mark for the kitten, so I let him talk to Mark. Although Alex said to me that he thought he should thank him in person and when could we all go do something together (he cracks me up). After Alex talked to Mark, we had a chance to talk a little bit. He apologized for the comment he made. I told him it did bother me. I also said that I am who I am, and if he's not happy with the way I am, that he needs to speak up. He said he's very happy with the way I am, it's just that he didn't feel good this weekend. I told him he should have said something to me. He said that I take such good care of him when were together that he didn't want to disappoint me. I told him I appreciated the consideration, but it's not about just me -- it's about both of us. And if he isn't feeling up to sex, he has to say something because I can't read his mind. He said he would next time. I didn't make a big deal about it at all, but I let him know how I felt and I got my point across. I told him we never had a communication problem before, so let's not start now, and he agreed.

West: As always, you have such a way with words -- so thoughtful and insightful. You are dead on about my ex. Ever since he left 7 years ago, everything has always been my fault, and it always will be. I stopped long ago trying to get his approval, because it never will come. I need to learn to let what he says roll off by back instead of sticking to my ribs. He gets to me, he knows he does, and then he wins. I need to not let him win. You're advice on the backpack was right also. I usually do go through it before it goes to his house, but in my hurry, I skipped a step, and it wound up biting me in the butt. So, I'll be more careful next time.

I really appreciate what you and First said about taking a risk with Mark. I can't help bit be scared, and I am trying to keep my feelings and emotions in check. It's just hard sometimes. I laughed when you said that maybe not spending the entire weekend with him might help me. My counselor said the same thing to me. Did you ever think about giving advice professionally? - you're good enough. I try to remind myself that even if things end up not working out for us, if I enjoy the ride, then I'll have no regrets. I didn't have any guarantees last time, and I don't this time either. I think at some point in time we will have to deal with the same issues as before -- my kids and family, and his family -- but I'm not ready for that right now -- I think he's a bit more ready than I am; whereas last time I was ready and he wasn't. I'm hoping that if I just go slow now that I'll know in my heart when I'm ready to move to the next step.

It's really nice to be able to talk about my feelings and fears with understanding, compassionate and sympathetic people. Thanks again.

Donna

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
In reply to: momoftwins65
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 4:06pm

Awww Honey! You make me want to hug you and hug you! That post did sound so much better. I am so glad you feel better. I am going to give you a quiz on Katie this weekend when I call. I really think we can get through this. Alex had a really big reading disability. Let's see if we can peg it a little. Definitely get her tested for these two: ADD and dislexia, they often go hand in hand, like with my Alex. We'll talk about it.

I agree, these ladies, really reallly really helped me this weekend and last week as well. It's sometimes so hard to pick up yourself, then you have a angel or two, or three, or more come along and help pick you up. You're ALL my guardian angels. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
In reply to: momoftwins65
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 4:19pm

I'm so PROUD of you! Taking care of yourself AND being up front with Mark! Yeah for YOU!!!


I hope the books help you too, I think they will.


The one good thing about going through crap in your life is that maybe, JUST maybe, you can help someone else get through it later. So glad that happens here....


((hugs))

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: momoftwins65
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 4:30pm

My dream job would be to be an official advice giver. If you only knew how many boards I visit and how much advice I dole out. But I think it was west that made the 'not all weekend' comment. I really wish I had gone into psychology, for one becuase I might have recognized my own issues earlier and for two, because I think I would be good at it. The reason I didn't was credibility. I'm 34 but look like I'm 20 (so people tell me, I think my age shows more than that), I'm petite, I have a high pitched voice (even on the phone people think I'm a child) and so when people meet me they don't immediately believe I have the intelligence or knowledge that I do. I figured if I was ever a psychologist, I would have trouble getting clients for that reason. And in any case, I am established enough in my career now it would be too expensive to start over. I was thinking if I did change careers, it might be to do personal financial counseling, but I haven't found anywhere to do that other than starting my own business, and it would be a while before I could take that risk.

I am glad you are feeling better. I think your week started out in the dumps, and now it has nowhere to go but up. That is very cute what Alex said to Mark, what a smart little man he is.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: momoftwins65
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 4:34pm

Now you are back at the helm of your ship and on the right page.

We all have a bumpety bump such as this from time to time.

The kitten sounds like a wonderful idea!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: momoftwins65
Tue, 02-01-2005 - 8:03pm
I'm glad you're feeling better. You sound a lot better.