Update...
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Update...
| Wed, 11-10-2004 - 8:29am |
Thank you for everyone who responded yesterday to my post. I talked with J last night and spilled all my insecurities, worries and concerns. He was attentive, loving and understanding. I told him that I need to seek out a therapist and he told me that he would go with me, watch the kids, whatever I need to get through this. Someone said on the other post about layers...this is one of those layers that needs to be dealt with.
My husband told me he is NEVER leaving me, he told me he loves me more each day, he told me I am beautiful, he said he will NEVER treat me the way my ex did. I have the most caring, understanding and loving husband. He never judged me, he never said this was MY problem infact he said it was our problem and we need to get me better. He is truly a blessing in my life, I am so glad we met.
Lori

That is absolutely fantastic!! He sounds like a wonderful person. I'm so glad you were able to express your feelings and he was a good guy about it.
Tricia
That is wonderful news. Your husband is a great guy to be so understanding and to assure you things will be ok. I agree that therapy will help. It helped me. Best of luck to you in starting your business.
Donna
Lori
Lori, I'm so glad for you.
Yes, he asked that same question and would NOT go if I asked him to. I do think that even if it was something other than a drink I would STILL feel the same way. He said to me that if he thought she was making a pass at him that he would leave and make sure they were NEVER alone again. I fully trust that he would do that and I fully trust that he would tell me. He is a very upstanding guy and very honest...sometimes too honest. He has never lied to me and I know that because he tells me that. I remember when we were 1st dating he said to me that we will never make it as a couple if I don't trust him.
I am so glad that you were able to talk with hubbie about your feelings too. He is really great guy too! I have a very hard time with communication so does J so we are constantly working on that. I used to yell and scream, what disfunction and he couldn't EVER have an opinion. As difficult as it is, we remind each other to make sure the lines of communicaiton are open and as a result of that, we are getting better.
Hugs,
Lori
"I was just curious, in addition to his reassuring you how much he loves you and will never leave you, and your discussion about therapy, was a simple and quick resolution made also, about whether or not he'll have a drink with a female client alone? Maybe that is one simple and quick adjustment he can make for your sake. Even if he and a client are meeting after the bigger meeting to finalize and discuss things and she suggests a drink, would it make you feel better if he simply ordered a coke or coffee? There is nothing wrong with loving partners making little concessions simply for the sake of their mate's comfort zone, no matter what the history is. My husband was cheated on and lied to in a really ugly way by his ex, and though he has an amazing capacity to fully trust me after all that, I still want to be cautious of his feelings and choose to not do things that might feel like something from his past. In other words, I'd get the Coke for his sake. I'll bet that J would, too."