update

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
update
10
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 8:12am
The girls came back home after their counseling session. They have been granted a break from the custody schedule, they will only visit one night each next week. And they will only go one at a time instead of all on the same night because there is too much "ganging up on dad"...poor fragile dad...can't handle all his kids at once. Isn't he lucky SOMEONE can!???

So, no resolution but it's in process. I feel a little yanked around about the whole thing, my schedule is totally up in the air...I guess I'll adjust. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 8:19am
I know this just makes you so mad. The kids will adjust and so will you. I am not so sure about splitting them up because "dad" can't handle it. I tried very hard to keep mine together. They should be. Try to relax, things will be okay. (I hate this new board) ~pat
Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:30am
Trying this again. Replied once and it didn't show up. I was trying to find out if Dad went to counseling session. Because why on earth would the counselor either agree, or think that having his children visit would be considered "ganging up on him"???
Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:35am
yes, he was there and this is his counselor. She's a "work this out" kind of counselor I think. And yes...this was her idea I think.

It's ridiculous if you ask me...just crazy. He's not going to change and the kids are sick of it.

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:37am
Ok, but here's what I don't get. WHY is it GANGING UP ON HIM for them to be there???? is he having physical anxiety attacks? Getting depressed? getting violent and can't handle them???? WHAT???

If ANY of those are the case, he should be humiliated that he can't handle hanging out w/his teen aged children. They're not in their "Terrible Two's" for crying out loud!!!

This board is making me angry and now I feel like taking it out on YOUR ex. ROTFL!!!!

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 9:41am
FEEL FREE! A friend of mine said "I wish I could hang out a psychologists shingle for an hour or two so I COULD GIVE him some COUNSELING! HEHEHEEE...cute huh?

Well, they don't AGREE with him and they say so...personally I think he's just a wimp. He really CAN'T deal with people not agreeing with him. He does get angry and VERY close to violence. This may be so there isnt' a witness...I don't know.

I need to talk to the girls about it. It's just nuts...

I have no trouble with them, neither does anyone else. It's HIM!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 10:34am
Hi Candi, I'm glad that the kids are doing pretty well through this stressful ordeal. If poor daddy can't handle a visit, they'll see him as the wimp and you as the strong parent...and this will continue into their adulthood. As hard as this is on all of you for now, you'll reap the benefits in the long run. You are the "real" parent here.

Hugs! Maggie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Wed, 03-26-2003 - 10:40am
Oh Candi, I'm so sorry!

Your ex sounds like a massive LOSER! What a wreck. Poor little baby, feels ganged up on. I agree with trying to keep the kids together at visits - then they can kind of lean on each other for support.

I'm sure this is so frustrating to you - BIG HUGS!

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 10:23am
Hey Candi!

Just now saw this post.

Are you kidding me? He can't handle having both girls at once so he gets it his way????? What the heck is that about? What about you getting a break? That's just plain unfair. I'm glad the girls are getting a little break. I hope it helps them. But jeez, whoever said the non-custodial parent gets to have the kids when it's convenient????

Big hugs

Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 10:38am
he's not even non custodial. We have joint custody...

I would never make the girls go over there if they didn't want to...they're old enough to stay by themselves some if the need arises. It's just typical for the whole universe (in his mind) to revolve around the ex and whatever crisis he is making up in his mind.

I mean, my kids are as close to perfect as you could want...no drugs, no fooling around, responsible, always know where they are, good to help around the house, the girls make straight A's...they're talented, sweet.

My ex is just sick...truly, he has a personality disorder. I don't think he'll ever know it...every time a counselor starts to talk about him counseling is OVER. I'm sure it'll work that way with this soon, too.

It's not fair to me, but I'm willing to be the adult and take responsibility for these wonderful kids...hey, how can I lose? :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 10:50am
Candi, your kids sound wonderful. They will be FINE, when all is said and done. And, you'll come out the winner. You have their respect and admiration as the parent in their lives.

Thank God, that when all else may be falling apart, we have precious, wonderful kids who make us proud.

Maggie