Update and need advice
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Update and need advice
| Sat, 01-20-2007 - 12:50pm |
Hello all,
Here it is. We meet last night and was to go to the movies. The movie was to be at 10 and we had two hours to kill. He asked respectfully if I would like to go to his place for a drink 1st. I made it very clear there will be no sex and the look on his face was funny. He said I didn't ask for that.
So we went to his place and we had a drink and sat and cuddle. When it came time for the movie he said it was up to me to go or just hang out. So I said lets just hang out. I wanted to try and get to know him alittle more. But thats the problem. All we did was make out, do they still call it that? Believe me I am no where ready for anything else. But I had a feeling he wanted more but he didn't try or push it. THANK GOD. I just don't know what my feelings are saying. He makes me feel alive. I think it is because It has been 3 years alone. I did date that one other guy right before Christmas but I know all he wanted was a booty call.
I am so confuse about this all. I really enjoy his company. He so nice to talk to. I don't even know if he is going to call me again. My sister called 1 in the morning to make sure it was alright and I was ok. And after I told her I found myself Confuse. I started saying maybe I scared him off but I will say I have to live up to my values. So if someone can make sence of this please give me some advice.
Thank you all and take care
Here it is. We meet last night and was to go to the movies. The movie was to be at 10 and we had two hours to kill. He asked respectfully if I would like to go to his place for a drink 1st. I made it very clear there will be no sex and the look on his face was funny. He said I didn't ask for that.
So we went to his place and we had a drink and sat and cuddle. When it came time for the movie he said it was up to me to go or just hang out. So I said lets just hang out. I wanted to try and get to know him alittle more. But thats the problem. All we did was make out, do they still call it that? Believe me I am no where ready for anything else. But I had a feeling he wanted more but he didn't try or push it. THANK GOD. I just don't know what my feelings are saying. He makes me feel alive. I think it is because It has been 3 years alone. I did date that one other guy right before Christmas but I know all he wanted was a booty call.
I am so confuse about this all. I really enjoy his company. He so nice to talk to. I don't even know if he is going to call me again. My sister called 1 in the morning to make sure it was alright and I was ok. And after I told her I found myself Confuse. I started saying maybe I scared him off but I will say I have to live up to my values. So if someone can make sence of this please give me some advice.
Thank you all and take care

It matters more what you want than what he wants. I sense that you are more worried about him calling and the attention.
I would want a guy that wants to take me somewhere to impress me on the first date than who invites me to his house for a drink - that would be a red flag and "booty call" sign to me.
You did good to set a boundary. I would see what he does on the next call- although I think it will be the same trick.
You see, he could have taken you out for a drink and then to the movies.
I do understand. He did call and want to make me dinner next week. Not sure what to think about that. I have vales and I think he would want to get to know me. I am 37 And he is 45 what gives. Not sure but there will be a talk and yes maybe my heart will bend but you know I know what I want. Thank you take care.
I can tell you what I would think of that. To me, he wants more of the same.
House = sex.
Out in public = go slow, get to know each other; romantic interest.
If you feel that it is nice that he wants to cook you dinner and you want to go and do that, it is great; I don't want to deter you from something you want to do.
I am only trying to tell you what I would think of that. I don't have an extreme amount of willpower so I would try to deter the being at a house thing for a while. And you do sound like this is on your mind when you mention values.
We had a very interesting discussion on here a while back.
Going slow to a woman means going slow with sex.
Going slow to a man means going slow with spending time together and falling in love.
Just stuff to think about.
Good luck with whatever you do - we are always here no matter what you decide.
Do not go to his house for your next date. Make him take you out somewhere public.
You should have gone to the movie the last time you saw him. You made out with him for a few hours. He feels that one more date in his house, then he'll be in your pants.
Absolutely in agreement with the other ladies.
For date ideas, I'd even keep the drinking to a minimum.
I don't know what you like to do or where you live, but some of the best early dates I have been on are doing something.
shoot pool
bowl
roller skate (I am 39 years old, and yes rollerskating is still fun.)
ice skating
walk in a nice place
book shopping
archery range
Ice fishing
Some of these sound strange, but doing something together that neither of you have done is a great way to see how some one learns, how they make conversation, how they deal with embarassment and failure, how competitive they can be etc.
Have fun, but keep hold of those values!!
Goodluck!
I just wanted to thank you for the wonderful support here. I have been doing alot of thinking and I like who I am. I do have values and I am looking for someone who wants to know me and not just use me. I do want to take it slow because I just got my heart to heal after 20 years with one person. It seem to me I attract the fast guys. Just because I am 37 don't mean I live like it is last day on earth. After 3 years alone I guess I was just wanting to be wanted. But I spent all night last night thinking about this guy and Today is the day I found out if he wants to get know me or sorry bye. Yes maybe I will be alone again but at least I still feel good about myself. I guess since this is all new, I am confuse but now I do know I am worth it. Thanks again and all take care. Wish me luck.
You sound like you are putting yourself first - and when that happens you will win. Don't put yourself down for attracting the fast guys. It is just that there are plenty of them out there. All we have to do is "see that" and not fall for it. Which you did! Things can only get better from here for you.
Keep us posted! And help us in our other threads!!