Update on "Exclusivity Talk" ...
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Update on "Exclusivity Talk" ...
| Sat, 11-04-2006 - 4:46am |
Ok- we are back to sanity :)
We have decided that this all came too soon, after only a couple months of seeing each other


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It is good and good timing that you share your update.
I have been reading a book about companies that went from good to great. Anyway, the concept that strikes me here is one that they used to compare companies in their studies for the book - the concept of the "mirror and the window."
The mirror being how someone sees themselves. And the window being how they see others.
The great companies all had leaders that saw themselves as humble and hard working - as opposed to someone with a great rockstar ego. These leaders saw opportunity when they looked out their windows - as opposed to troubles and negative factors in the market.
The other thing that made the great companies so great was that they filled their seats with only great people who would carry their own weight and bring vision and fortune to the company. It is better not to fill the seats than to fill it with the wrong people.
I thought of all of us - and how we have to find the right person to sit next to us in life - who will bring something to it and nourish it. Someone who has their mirror and window adjusted to be good for us. In other words, someone who sees themselves as humble and hard working. And someone who looks out their window and sees a single mom and ready made family and good character as an opportunity rather than a challenge.
Perhaps you want to give him a chance to see if he can accept you. But I have a bad feeling about his reaction and agreement to keep dating other people. And his age and never been married as we have all discussed.
It is totally up to you and what you want. I am sure you will figure this out in time - because you are ultimately the only one who can decide what is best for you - and perhaps you are not really sold on him either.
Sean sounds pretty cool - keep us posted on what he does.
Very interesting about the companies ... it does all make sense in personal relationships as well.
Yes, I just dont know what will happen here. On one hand you are SO right .. his being so willing to say we will see other people
I think that you have to take what he says for face value. He is not sure he is ready and he doesn't think he is strong enough for you. To me, it seems that he just wants a perfect parcel planted in his lap. Yes, I think he is a good guy - honest, kind.
Really, I don't think you should take this personally, but somehow I feel that you should not waste any more time on a dodo who thinks like that. I mean, he is sort of making this all about him instead of wanting to impress you and take you before someone else does. Maybe you just want to give it a little more time to see how YOU feel? And that is okay - you have to be sure in your mind about what you want.
I thought you were doing a great job at getting out there and having fun with dating. Your summary of what you said about taking a chance is a great lesson for life and beautifully written. I think you should find someone who believes in the same thing. I don't think your situation is such a big deal. Yes, your exh stresses you - but you do have a lot of legal stuff sorted out with regards to that matter. And you have a beautiful daughter, a great head on your shoulders and a good job. Plus you are still young and pretty. Please don't beat yourself up any more about what happened. You were kind and only saw the good and had no idea someone could be like him.
I am hoping that time will cause your exh to pursue other matters in his life besides making yours miserable. It seems that such a loser such as him would hurl himself towards bigger problems. You just have to give that a little time and stay strong to keep him in his place.
lol - "do do".
Have a blast and keep yourself open to other options. If Carlos is looking for perfection or afraid of failure, those are his own demons. You do not have to fix him. I mean, you like him.....but, it's up to him to get his act together.
I really like hearing that you willing to date others. It's my prediction that you will meet a man who wants to date you exclusively and he will not have any hang-ups. You are pretty and your posts show a lot of intelligence and personality.
Rebecca,
You may want to step back a minute and look at the big picture.
Hi Alison, thanks for the feedback. One thing though that I do want to point out is by NO means have i just started dating. I seperated from my H almost 2 yrs ago & began dating about 6 months after. So its been a solid year & 1/2 that I have dated ... a LOT.
Well, I'm glad that you're keeping your eyes open.
Hi rlch!
I like the analogy of running a great company and running a great life/relationship.
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