Update on a few things...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Update on a few things...
5
Sat, 12-17-2005 - 8:46pm

Ok, where to start...


My new job is going really well, I really like everyone I work with and am feeling comfortable in that regard.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 8:35pm

I totally agree with you on your decision to tell your mom NO to that trip. It sounds like she is expressing a need for a social outlet and getaway. And that is all well and good - but not with Nic and in the manner you just described.

There is no rule that says you have to be her best friend and make her happy with your decisions all the time. Nic comes first and that is exactly what I would have done in your position.

- I just learned that 30 degrees is indeed very cold
- I also learned that ice and sneakers don't mix!! I am in NY for the 11 tests over 4 days - wish me luck!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 12-18-2005 - 11:13pm

Judy,


Good luck on your tests!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 5:46am

Oh dear - your mom is clearly in a bad place right now.

I totally agree with what your write and your course of action. I would do the same thing if I was in your shoes. I think she just needs a big chill so she can figure out her life on her own and then respect your boundaries.

Every once in a while my mom becomes overbearing - in that she has a different way of thinking than me and she wants to tell me what to do or she oversteps her boundaries with being too nice to my exh. That is when she gets a big chill - and believe me - that works.

At one time she was trying to use her willingness to babysit tied to what I was doing. Meaning that if she didn't like what I was doing she would not babysit. That little problem disappeared quickly after the chill - seeing my son is a privelege - not a means for her to manipulate me. Now I ask her if she wants a grandparent opportunity - I have a sitter - so it is not like I NEED her help. But DS does well with her and that does save me money.

I think our parents are humans, too. They have good days and bad days. But they do have to respect our decisions and boundaries.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 7:21am

Judy,

I don't think I've asked before, but what type of tests are you taking? Is it for a job?

Sounds like a load to carry though, 11 tests in 4 days seems like a lot! But you sound excited a very well prepared!

Good Luck!!

Alison,

I hope everything calms down with your mother. I do think you did the right thing though by telling her that it wasn't a good idea to fly out. Hopefully she will understand though and it will get better! Good luck!

Merry Christmas All,
Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 12-19-2005 - 10:22pm

Well, I did talk to her today and I laid out why I was asking her to stop buying him things.


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