Update to freaking out

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Update to freaking out
19
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 6:13pm

Last night was the night that EG decided to give me the ring and it's very beautiful , but it just doesn't feel right.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 6:19pm

"I told him last night that we should put our relationship on hold until he decides what he wants to do."

GOOD!

I am so sorry you had to hear that part about him moving along with getting the ring - that really takes the wind out of your sails I can only imagine. My heart would sink on that one, too. In fact that is one of my fears about dating and marriage - that my imaginary future date or mate would get a lucrative job offer out of state and cause a turmoil.

I do not want to move. Not any time in this decade. My family is here. My social network is here. My son and his life are here most important.

Put you first as you have stated - and keep us posted. HUGS!!!! Sorry!! I know that a marriage proposal is supposed to make you giddy happy - not filled with dread and sad and mad!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 6:26pm

Didn't we talk about Doctors

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 6:32pm

Sounds like he's manipulating you and that there are just too many issues to proceed with a wedding at this point.

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 6:50pm
I really don't know what to think.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 6:58pm
omg you poor thing, I feel for you.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 7:02pm
I know it's not the money because he makes 5x more than I .
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 7:11pm

(((((((((isysmoon))))))))) I know I haven't responded to this situation with the ring that you've been posting about. I'm not sure what to think/say, but I feel for you. It makes me wonder what I'd do/say if Hiker was wanting to the the "ring thing"... and I really don't know.


We all know that I like things the way they are, and to change it would probably make me hyperventilate.


So nothing but hugs to you, isysmoon!!!! Although you love dating him, maybe this is just more than you want. I know the concept of moving AWAY would hit me as well. MUCH more than just moving IN. That's not a small thing to spring on anyone.


~shrimpy, excited for you, but sad, too

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 7:14pm

My only advice...go into it with eyes wide open.

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 7:18pm

I'm starting to see why the ring thing kinda freaked you out to begin with. You might have sensed something was up, sort of felt something was in the air? You also felt that the ring might change the dynamics in a way?


I guess that if I were in your shoes I would talk to him. I'd tell him I'm honored to weatr a ring from him, and I'm committed to just him,but I'm happy with how things are. I might also say that I was a little dissappointed to have the shadow of his move talk darken the whole ring moment. He knows your feelings about being settled and not moving yet.. so why did he have to mention it?


I'm excited for you about his level of committment to you, just a bit sad that it was followed by the move talk. I'm really sorry it was not a more celebratory kind of night.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 04-30-2008 - 7:32pm

It's one thing to buy a ring and be engaged, but then to throw this out there.

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