Update: I called and cancelled yesterday
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| Fri, 05-26-2006 - 12:45pm |
So, yesterday I called the new guy and cancelled our plans to go out for italian ice with Amber and told him to call me later because we needed to talk.
Those of you who read my previous post know that we hadn't gone out before and that he just asked me out this past weekend.
Well, this week, he got downright possessive! On Wednesday night, he called and left a message for me because we weren't home. He was ticked on the message - he said he called my cell phone and left a message and now I was not home, so where could I be and call him as soon as I could. Plus, he acted like he and I spending every minute together this weekend was a foregone conclusion!
So, when he called last night, I told him that I only want a casual dating relationship right now in my life - that I am very independent and absolutely love my life with my daughter, so I just would like someone to go out with once in a while for dinner or a movie or whatever - that he seemed to be jumping into this with both feet and that is cool, but not if he wants to date me. I also reminded him that I am not his girlfriend, we are not a couple and we are not in an exclusive relationship - if I want to date other guys (and he wants to date other women) that is absolutely fine and we do not owe each other any explanation.
But, the most important thing that I told him was that Amber will not be part of that. I told him that she will only become part of my relationship with a man once he and I are exclusive, serious and see a future together. I told him that anything else is inappropriate and I will not do that to her. She comes first. He thought that was crazy! He said that, since she is only 10 months old, she doesn't know what is going on anyway, so that is just nuts. Plus, he didn't like the fact that my "rules" require a babysitter and that, therefore, I am not free to do things on a moment's notice. First of all, I think infants are very perceptive. They see everything! Plus, as other people on this board reminded me, being in mommy mode is different than date mode and I really need to see if he and I get along before bringing her into it.
So, he was annoyed and told me to call him sometime if I have a babysitter worked out. I won't call because he freaked me out with his possessiveness this week, combined with lack of understanding regarding my relationship with my daughter and what is appropriate for her. He can't relate and that's fine. He is funny because although he was annoyed (I could hear it in his voice), he spent the whole conversation trying to placate (sp) me.
I just have red flags and I am going to stop before we even start - I had doubts all this week and in the past I have dismissed the red flags and made excuses - now I am a mom, so that makes me stronger and helps me to stand up and do the right thing not only for her, but for myself also!
Thanks for all of your input on this in my previous post! It helped with my decision.
Samantha

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"...he even emailed my best friend by stealing her email address from a quiz forward I once sent out! "
I absolutely HATE when my friends do this to me!
Since I have never had that happen before, I never even considered that someone would do that, but I've been BCC-ing ever since for my friend's protection!!! :)
--snow
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