Update on me and B
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 07-06-2008 - 5:15pm |
When I had told him that I was unhappy with our relationship and the fact he was always gone he accepted that and told me I wasn't wrong for feeling that way at all. We split up on good terms and agreed to possibly be friends if it wasn't too hard on either of us.
Fast forward to yesterday: He had turned up a few things of mine at his apartment and called me to see if I wanted him to UPS them to me. I offered to come get them since I was off all day and had nothing better to do. He and I sat out on his balcony and talked for several hours and really got a lot of stuff straightened out. He asked me if there was anyway that we could try to work out our relationship, since we both had invested 2 years of our time and overall we're pretty compatible. Plus all his friends and family like me and vice versa. I told him that in order for us to stay together, he would need to make some changes like quitting smoking (he smokes clove cigarettes, so they are not as awful smelling as regular ones, and he never smokes in the house), holding my hand when we're out together in public, and being around and available more often. He conceded that I was the one doing all the work in our relationship, and that if asked he would admit that he was not a good boyfriend. He mentioned that if he hadn't been so stubborn about taking things slow, he could have moved to Sterling Heights (where I stay) from Northville (hour and a half away) back in March when he renewed his lease. He asked for some time to reevaluate what he really wants from his life and what his plans are for the future. I've made it very clear that marriage and children are what I want and he knows that. I told him to take the time that he needs to be absolutely certain about the decision he makes, because I don't want him to change for me, but if he wants to make the changes necessary to be with me then I'm willing to give it a little more time. I also told him that I'm not going to wait around for another year either, so I set the timeline at one month. If he decides he is willing to commit to me and my son before the month is up then we will go from there.
Overall I'm happy with this situation, because I really do love him and I would love to spend the rest of my life with him if he is going to put in the effort to make our relationship work.



That is a good update! It sounds like you mean a lot and he is willing to try to make an effort - but let's hope he really will if he decides so - and are you okay with the age difference particularly if you want kids?
And I am glad you decided to take it slow - and am glad you spoke your feelings. How do you feel about this now that you have had time apart? Do you have mixed emotions? Or do you think he will really be less of a workaholic and more affectionate for you? The cigarette thing would bother me, too.
Keep us posted! And yeah to you for your strength!
The thing about B is that it is really really hard to get him to commit to something, because once he does he will never back down on his commitment. I've seen many examples of this in his life and his family and friends will all attest to it as well. So if he decides he really does want to be with me, I know I can trust him to follow through with his promises.
I'm fine with the age difference - he's still young enough to have kids and I'd like to start sooner than later on that anyway, so it works well for us.
I will definitely keep you guys updated - as soon as I know what's going on I'll pass it all on to you!
Wow!