update on me and how are you???

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002
update on me and how are you???
12
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:02pm

First I want to thank everyone who has supported me through what has been a very tough time in my life lately!


Things are going better. Jerry and I are still together and doing our best to get back to just US and learning and growing in the relationship--however its a struggle with everything we have gone through. Physicaly I am healed from the pregnancy - emotionally is another story and I started therapy 2 weeks ago for that and go every week and I LOVE my therapist - she is awsome! She is an author of a great book actually -- which I should recommend if anyone is interested-- its titled Emotional Unavailability-- its great - read it if you can! Anyway - I am not sure how things will play out, to add to it I am moving November 1st and it will be alot further from Jerry. I chose to move closer to my work and its a great area and great schools for my boys. If and when I do see Jerry its a good 45 minutes to an hour depending on traffic and I am a little scared about this hindering the relationship. But its a good choice for me and the boys and I couldnt factor Jerry into my decision because he isnt offering anything. I think its good for me to focus on me and this is a huge brand new start for me and my boys...where we are moving is a private apartment community with indoor pool, fitness center with indoor basketball courts, racketball courts, yoga, aerobic classes and activities planned everynight for adults and kids and all of this is included in a SUPER reasonable rent amount that is 30% of my monthly income so it is sooo perfect! Plus its like 5 minute drive from my work so I wont be away from the boys as much! I really am excited to move there! Right now my commute to work is 30-45 minutes driving in traffic but more when there is snow days (I live in Minnesota so lots of those)

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Avatar for comountainsprite
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:31pm
Wow, good luck on the move. And I think it's fabulous that you based your decision on what is good for you and your boys. Don't misunderstand, I'll all for figuring in the impact on a relationship with an SO but only if that's best for you too and only if you're getting that kind of mutual consideration of the importance of the relationship back from him. Take time for yourself to heal. Oh, and great about shorter commute too. When I lived in MN, I was in St. Cloud where nothing is more than about 10 minutes from anywhere else if you live and work right in town but I still hated it in bad weather.

I'm great! We finished the bathroom remodel. Yay. I posted a before and after link down in the bragging corner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 3:00pm

THANKS!!


Ya Im moving about 10 minutes from the Mall of America - or Bloomington -- I was living in NE Minneapolis - Jerry lives near Anoka.


:) about St. Cloud - I didnt know that??? !! Where are you now?


Saw the pics-- the bathroom looks great you must be very excited!! Glad to hear all is well!


Avatar for comountainsprite
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 3:18pm
Now I'm in the Denver, CO area in a western suburb. But I was in St Cloud for about 5 years. I went there for grad school in English lit and then stayed for another couple years because ex is from Minneapolis and wanted to stay. I have an aunt and uncle in Sartell though (not too far from St Cloud) and hope to take dh and dd there next year for a visit since dh has never been to MN.
Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 3:53pm
Good for you! I totally applaud you doing what is right for you and the boys and not letting the fear of what may or may not be with Jerry hold you back. You are such a marvelous woman! I hope the move will be a positive change.

Glad you found a therapist you can work with. I know having been through several in the past, it's hard to find one you can really relate to. Keep up the good work!

I'm fine, thanks for asking. :) Super busy as always!

I hope you can make it to chat tomorrow night, 9 pm EST! Love to have a real time conversation with you!

Hugs

Tara

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 4:22pm

Hi Tara...thanks and glad all is well!


I unfortunatly will be unable to attend chat due to my boys having swim lessons on Tuedays from 700 - 800 (CST) and I could try and get on after I get home and them into

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 11:23pm
I like that you are moving for YOU and the boys - BRAVO. You are so right to do this - it will help you with everything - your boys, your life and Jerry.

I applaud you for everything you have done lately - you are so strong. It wasn't easy what you went through and I admire you for getting a counselor.

Good things are going to come your way - I am sending great vibes!! And hugs!! Keep us posted!!

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 10-05-2004 - 10:10am
Congrads on moving forward with everything in your life! That sounds terrific and very inspirational to us all! Big hugs to you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Tue, 10-05-2004 - 11:10am
It's so great to hear you are doing well. I know it hasn't been easy for you lately, but you've moved on and handled it.

Congrats on the new place!! Sounds great! And as for Jerry, good for you on not factoring him into your moving plans. If he's not offering anything then you have to do what's best for YOU and your boys. If he wants to be closer, he'll have to make an effort. You'll be fine either way.

Enjoy your life and your new place and make sure you put you and your boys first. Let us know how things go!

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Tue, 10-05-2004 - 11:27am
Hello MB!!!! I'm new to this board...just joined a couple days ago...so I don't know anything of what you've been through before, but after reading this post...I am so inspired!! Congrats on your new place! It sounds like you are doing exactly what you should be! A short commute to work is so important, and with all of facilities offered at the new complex I'm sure you and your boys will have tons to do to keep busy and still be close to home! It's very important that mothers do what's best for their children and you are doing just that...that's very admirable.

I'm 23, trying to get through college, and I have a four year old daughter. I still live with my parents and I have been convinced that I will never be able to move out because the cost of living in New Jersey is sooooooooo expensive (a one bedroom apartment runs about $800 a month--AVERAGE). But when I hear about single moms that are out there, making the right income and living on their own with their children, it gives me the inspiration I need to know that eventually, I'll get there too.

I hope to get to know you and everyone else here much better! congrats again.

Hugs,

Shelley

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002
Tue, 10-05-2004 - 11:45am

Hi every one thanks for the well wishes and welcome ishelleylee!!


YES YOU CAN DO IT!!


I am doing it on my own and so are several women around here. It CAN be done. Of course

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