Update on my date report - lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Update on my date report - lol
5
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 4:35pm

I'll start by saying that I guess I'm just going to have to learn to date like a man - lol - or just resign myself to a life as the crazy cat lady.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 6:33pm
Looking online is just habit for some people.. Besides it was only one date. He expressed his interest in you in many ways.. I would say enjoy that and forget about why he is browsing..
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 6:35pm
Oh I hated internet dating exactly for this reason and I talked myself through it and still went on a few because I signed up with a gf just to seal a pact to get us both out there. I am just not cut out for the guessing and waiting and knowing there are so many people out there online. It was nervewracking for me but I know other people have great luck on there.
As far as him being really in to you and also being online searching still I remember that great quote someone's brother from on here said not long ago "You dont love me, you love my representative" or something like that. I love that quote because at this point you have only met each other's best sides and nothing else. Now maybe you are presenting a more genuine true to form side of yourself than he is - maybe you dont need a representative but he kinda does and knows it. Are you just having a wonderful time together or are there moments of really genuine connection and almost quiet between you? Because if I were feeling those kinds of moments with someone and they were still playing the field it would wear me out quickly. I dont want to give that part of my spirit to someone who is sharing affections with someone else. It takes the really human, sincere part and lessens it to me.
Luckily for me SYB was just like I am and as soon as we started dating we both just focused on each other. We never had the talk except for him telling me one night that one of his sister's friends had informed him that we werent just FWB's after three months and did he know he was someone's boyfriend. He mentioned it to me and then looked at me and I smiled and said " oh she sounds smart. I should meet her sometime" lol
Anyhow, I would accept some of what you are worried about with a grain of salt for now and just enjoy the representative until you can get an actual appt with the head honcho:)
I will be curious to hear what the other ladies say...
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 8:01pm

Unfortunately that is the way it is on OLD.

The only thing I can offer is that you should always assume the guy is seeing many women (just read Mark's reports!) until he asks for exclusivity and you should do the same and try not to overthink it or get attached or have physical intimacy until you have that talk and the profiles come down. Make sure you step up your social life and efforts to meet someone in real life if you can to balance that out so OLD doesn't become your whole life.

I think I have learned to really take a step back and see what happens over time and see their actions - that is what shows intent more than anything.

OLD is wonderful because it brings the world to your door. But OLD is also a challenge and headache because it brings the world to your door.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 9:00pm

I'm going to keep playing the field so to speak - lol - it would be nice to actually meet a guy IRL (not online).

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 9:24pm

"That's why I always take things nice and slow (and yes I mean no sex outside a committed relationship) because I know for myself anyway that once that happens it's wayyy to easy to get wayyy too emotionally attached."

AGREED!!!